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You Are Here and the Time is Now
by Flora Jardine

Not everyone has a cell phone, which means some of us have to run around town wondering what time it is. I'm one of those. Is there a time for us, somewhere -- or are we to be forever too late or too early?

When's the last time you saw a clock in public? They used to be prominent, often dignified by their own towers. We have every other “public” thing: public transport, public housing, public rubbish bins, public safe injection sites ... but not clocks. Why? Have they been banned, like smoking, or driving?

I had to meet a friend for coffee. Was I late or early? A philosophical question and scientific enough for Einstein. Is time relative, or clocks only relatively absent? I only know my friend expects me to show up absolutely. I came downtown on the bus (which clearly had no absolute schedule) and I thought I remembered the analog clock on my stove showing that the time when I left home was noon. Approximately. If only I could check a clock tower.

I know: I'll check the sun, like the ancients did. At what time does it reach its apex? And where exactly in the sky is its apex? Damn it: more Einstein. Can't I meet a friend without having to be a physicist? I am more a Wordsworth than an Einstein: “late and soon I lay waste my power”, or so it seems.

“Time gentlemen” -- remember when they said that in pubs at 11:00 pm? So everyone at least knew when it was 11:00 pm. Is there a gentleman around here now, who could tell me whether it's 1:00 pm? Maybe a gentleman with a pocket watch, like that creepy rabbit that Alice met on her way to Wonderland?

Now it's me in Wonderland, wondering what time it is. Maybe the City should hire a team of paid gentlemen with pocket watches as a public service. It would be useful for tourists -- assuming not every single one of them has a cell phone -- and a safety measure for those who do. It's no wonder pedestrians keep bumping into things and falling off curbs; they have to keep looking down at their phones to learn the time of day, instead of glancing up at a clock. The City could hire a team of time-tellers dressed as White Rabbits. They could double as tourist marketing agents.

"And since you're here,” they would add as they revealed the time of day, “you should know that the Museum opens at 10:00, the Art Gallery at 11:00, and the Harbour Tours begin at noon. Enjoy your stay – we hope you have the time of your life.”