11 Things I
Learned In 2014
by William Kitcher
The female
nipple and that spot slightly above the top of
the crack of the woman’s butt are apparently
the most disgusting things ever according to the
TV censors.
I’m happy when I get 1 number on the lottery.
To get rid of racism, the only answer is for all
people to be forced to have children with someone
from another ethnic group. In a couple of
generations, everyone is such a mongrel that no
one can say they’re superior to any other
ethnic group. The only exceptions to this should
be Swedes and South Seas islanders because their
women are stinkin’ beautiful as they are,
and you don’t want to mess that up.
The worst words a guy can hear from a woman he’s
interested in are “my boyfriend” or
“my husband”.
When weather broadcasters say, “inclement
weather”, they mean “rain”.
I heard a football coach say that the “most
smart” team will win.
If you’re young and you don’t text or
have a cellphone or are on Facebook, it means you’re
a rebel, but if you’re old and you don’t
text or have a cellphone or are on Facebook, it
means you don’t understand the technology.
Too many people have swum across Lake Ontario. It’s
so easy that even a 14-year-old can do it. If you
want a challenge, swim it lengthwise.
A good time to go on a crime spree is during the
funeral of a cop.
Human babies evolved so that their cries resemble
cats’ meows because people are concerned
when cats meow.
When someone starts attacking your personality,
they usually come up with the things that you
think are wrong with them.
A toddler is the perfect height for you to butt
your cigarette out on his head.
I still don’t know how to count.
|
