by Jerry Robbins
My New Year' s
resolution: "To make more bad
Trump's wife Melania at graveside, "Yes,
Dear, I'll tell them thousands attended."
Trump, throttling person with sign, "I'm
with stupid," says, "I
love poorly educated people."
Just before the ICBM hits the White House, "We'll
Sessions playing golf with the
president at underwater Florida course, "No
global warming, no global warming, no..."
Trump at Miss America Contest, "I didn't
molest her... Well, maybe...Whatever."
Trump sitting on his Mexico wall, "Humpty
Dumpty sat on a wall..."
Trump on gun control, "Stickin' to
In front of the EPA watchdog, "Don't
let him loose."
"This tax cut won't help me...more than
"I never cozied up to the Russians...Maybe
slept with them, but...
"I came to clean the swamp. Now,
let's see who likes me and we'll keep him."
"We'll make it Jerusalem, wherever that is."
In the emergency room, "I'm the healthiest
"Foreign affairs: "Let's see who we can
On Hitler: "I like him ... a
On his Cabinet: "They all pledged their
loyalty to me and they better damn well give it."
On Trump, Jr. : "You gotta
love him. He's just like me."
"There's a gym here?"
To St.Peter at the Pearly Gates, "What a