Garage Sale
Blues: A Suite in Three Movements
by James
Kowalczyk
Honeychild, I’m
here to help. For years I too have wrestled with
the demon- you know the one- he sits on your
shoulder and whispers: sell, don’t sell,
sell...I would get in a tizzy over it. Let’s
just say my ability to jump over stuff would give
any athlete a run for their money. And believe me,
I had stuff everywhere-staircases, bathroom, you
name it. I hang my head when I recall those days.
Then one day, I said to myself: Dorothea, you
have just got to stop spitting in the wind and
get serious. Since then I’ve been busier
than a cat trying to bury you-know-what on a
marble floor. What follows is my hard-won bits of
wisdom I’ve gained from experience.So fear
not reader, as a great Roman orator once said:
“As long as there’s life, there is hope.
”
When planning
for a potential garage sale , there are three
categories.
1. The
first category is composed of items that have
exceeded your statute of limitations (this
should never be more than three years) in
terms of their usefulness. These are the
things that you’ve kept around “in
case you need it someday” or those you’ve
held onto in order to avoid the guilt you
would feel if you threw them away (as if your
neighbor would really care if you got rid of
those hideous curtains she gave you for your
house-warming ten years ago). These items are
the easiest to deal with. Simply ask yourself:
“Have I used this in the last three
years?” If the answer is “no”
then it’s got to go.
2. The
second category is a bit trickier as these
things you have actually been using but you
have always secretly hated. You make enough
money now to buy your own in the color, style,
and size that you like. Examples of
objects in this group include your sister’s
old couch, your mother’s microwave (circa
1977) and the abstract painting that was
hanging in your father’s den when you
were a kid. These things were valued so much
that they were passed off to you before the
last stop for them- the dump.
3. This
last category necessitates some deliberation.
One has to ask oneself a difficult question;
for example: “The soda stackers saved
tons of refrigerator space in the
refrigerator last summer, yet I’ve
stopped using them. Why was that?” Or
“How many whisks do I really need?”
However, you must be strong and use logic as
a weapon to cut through the webs that tangle
your mind! Only you can decide what should
stay and what should go. Be realistic when
making this choice. If nothing else, you can
always hold onto it until it fits into
category number one.
If, during
your analysis, you acquire paralysis, call me at
Dorothea's Storage: 1-800-FOREVER
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