Lights Out!
by Laara C Oakes
I once owned a
3-way bulb. All three filaments lived happily
together. Everyone thought the 50-watt wasn’t
too bright. “He’s reckless,” they
said. “He’s crazy.” I had to agree.
He was always the first one to enter a dark room.
Buzz
circulated about 100-watts unnatural attachment.
He followed 50-watt everywhere. But they got
along, so we accepted 100-watts obsessive
codependency issues.
They both
enjoyed the company of 150-watt. He was a shining
example of what a bulb could be when all its
filaments were connecting. Yes sir, things got
brighter when 150-watt was around. And when he
beamed about his latest adventure, he lit up the
room. Life was sunny in the land of bulb.
Then one rainy
day, everything changed. I was sitting on the
couch reading a brilliant book that had received
glowing reviews, Let Your Light Shine when I
heard a loud pop. The room darkened. The
sound had come from the land of bulb.
“What
happened?” I questioned the 3-way. Not a
flicker. Not a hum. It just faded in the corner.
But I had my suspicions.
I turned the
switch off to let the bulb cool down. I lifted it
from the socket. I held it gently in my hands.
Carefully, very carefully I brought it to my ear.
Then I shook it. The rattle was all the proof I
needed—150-watt was dead! Snuffed out! His
filaments fried!
We held the
funeral that gloomy afternoon. Everyone
reminisced about how we always thought 150-watt
would one day be Pop to a string of 5-watt
holiday bulbs. Nobody had expected him to pop
this way.
Everyone
lowered to half-light in honor of 150-watts
passing. And then one-by-one, they shut off. That
night was dark and stormy.
Underwriters
Laboratory launched an investigation, but neither
remaining filament admitted they had anything to
do with the death of 150-watt.
Rumors
circulated that 100-watt did it. After all, 100-watt
never could light up the room like 150-watt.
Maybe it wasn’t 50-watt that 100-watt was
obsessed with after all. Was he really following
50-watt around, or was it a cover?
Accusations
ran wild. After all, 100-watt always entered the
room just before 150-watt. It’s like 100-watt
always knew where 150-watt was going to flash
next. Stalker? You tell me.
Over time, our
memories dimmed and we forgot about the incident.
We all adjusted to a 2-way lit world. Life went
on in the land of bulb.
Two weeks
later, I heard that same unmistakable pop.
I ran to the room. Too late! The 100-watt
filament was kaput!
I eyed 50-watt
suspiciously. He didn’t blink. He didn’t
flicker. He just sat there, giving off a smirky
glow. But the jig was up. In a burst of jealously,
the 100-watt was off’d. The 50-watt was a
light stealing, filament frying, current sucking
murderer!
They all
called 50-watt dim. Said he was crazy. He’s
crazy all right. Crazy like a spotlight.
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