Shocking
Revelations About The World's Most Interesting
Man
by R.D. Ronstad
He can't get
enough of passive verbs.
When he has a bright idea, a glow stick
appears above his head.
Brick walls have a saying: "It's
like talking to that Dos Equis guy."
He doesn't go to many movies, but when he
does, he prefers Alan Smithee films.
That tattoo picture of him his mother has
on her arm? It's to remind her of who he
is when he's sitting across from her.
Mimes tell each other jokes about him.
He served as the inspiration for the
title character in the movie The
Puffy Chair.
He needs special glasses to see things in
2D.
He kind of enjoys watching paint dry.
He would like Rice Krispies more if they
just crackled.
He makes a better window than a door.
Sometimes on long trips his luggage loses
him.
The Darks Ages were actually pretty
happenin' until he time-traveled there in
a 1970 AMC Gremlin.
Himself is always beating him up.
He didn't attend his high school reunion
but people there still kept saying to him:
"You haven't changed a bit."
His nickname in the military was "Mannequin
Skywalker."
He put the "super" in "superfluous."
Scientists think he could visit Jupiter
and not gain any weight.
He rides elevators just to hear the music.
He is being stalked by someone known as
"The Blue Fairy."
He doesn't often drink ale, but when he
does, he prefers ginger ale. |
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