Signs You May Be
A Butterfly Dreaming You're A Man
by R.D. Ronstad
You’re always
seeing tattoos of you on perfect
strangers.
People are always saying you remind them
of Tinker Bell.
You’re deeply offended by Imelda
Marcos’ nickname, and you don’t
know why.
You’re always being chased by small
children, for no apparent reason.
You have been chased at least once by
some dude carrying a small net and
wearing khaki shorts, knee socks, and a
pith helmet.
When you’re nervous, you say that
you’ve got hummingbirds in your
stomach.
You experience a vague sense of
schadenfreude whenever you see a moth.
You can fit a completed first draft of
your memoirs on a large table napkin.
You own a gym where you teach aspiring
boxers how to “float like a
butterfly.”
You always keep your distance from that
guy in your office who thinks he might be
a bird dreaming he‘s a man.
You and many of your relatives and
friends have second homes in Central
Mexico.
You're not afraid of needles, but you're
deathly afraid of pins. |
|
