Signs You May Be
A Butterfly Dreaming You're A Man
by R.D. Ronstad
seeing tattoos of you on perfect
People are always saying you remind them
of Tinker Bell.
Youre deeply offended by Imelda
Marcos nickname, and you dont
Youre always being chased by small
children, for no apparent reason.
You have been chased at least once by
some dude carrying a small net and
wearing khaki shorts, knee socks, and a
When youre nervous, you say that
youve got hummingbirds in your
You experience a vague sense of
schadenfreude whenever you see a moth.
You can fit a completed first draft of
your memoirs on a large table napkin.
You own a gym where you teach aspiring
boxers how to float like a
You always keep your distance from that
guy in your office who thinks he might be
a bird dreaming hes a man.
You and many of your relatives and
friends have second homes in Central
You're not afraid of needles, but you're
deathly afraid of pins.