To Do List For
The Extraterrestrial's Last Week On Earth
by R.D. Ronstad
Sweep up around
Stonehenge.
Store up on spackle (Yum!) for the long
trip home.
Abduct at least one Earthling so as not
to disappoint the rest of them (jk!).
Pay final respects to Chuck Berry. (Thanks
for the invite, Chuck!)
Return E.T. (the movie, not E.T.) to
Roswell Public Library.
De-woof the warp drive.
Find suitable parting gift for the rat
leader (i.e., the leader of the rats, not
you-know-who).
Pick up toy for Kitty that will keep her
occupied on the trip home—perhaps
that joke-of-a-neighbor Pritchard’s
new Buick.
Assemble data from my observations of the
goings-on at Kitt Observatory. (Is this
an example of what Earthlings call irony?
Decades on earth and I’m still not
sure.)
Call Allplanet and adjust deductible.
Visit MasterCard offices and flash a few
people MIB-style.
Knock on the Tardis's door, then hide
behind Mars (great fun!)
Leave key under the mat for IG-88. |
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