What A Day!
by Igor Kluev
What a day!
Summer vacation. Waves of hot air. I had to walk
fifty yards from the beach to reach powerful,
breaking waves. The wall of water hit me. Waves
turned me upside down. It happened several times.
That was a joy! That was amazing! I had a feeling
that nothing could separate me from the ocean.
Soon, I
understood that feeling had a very practical
reason. I realized that somehow, because the
waves were so strong, I lost my swimming trunks.
That meant I was absolutely naked in the water,
100 yards from a crowded beach.
What should I
do? Stay there until darkness came? But that was
not possible. The water was so cold, and the day
was still so young. Should I ask somebody for
help? In the water 20 yards from where I was,
were two pretty girls. Should I shout to them to
ask for help? But I imagined their reaction to a
naked man approaching them. They could have
decided that I was a sex maniac, and the rest of
my vacation I would have spend in a local jail.
Eureka! I
found a good way to avoid disaster. I saw two
male young guards on the closest lifeguard chair.
I would pretend I was drowning. Lifeguards would
come to me. I would explain to them the situation,
and they would bring my clothes from my beach
chair. I started shouting, “Help me, I’m
drowning”. Then I started pretending that I
was going under the water. To be more realistic I
submerged for several seconds. When I emerged
from the water, I looked at the lifeguard chair.
The lifeguard chair was empty. It looked like my
plan had worked.
Then I looked
at the shoreline, and I was shocked. Instead of
two male lifeguards, a pretty lifeguard girl was
running towards me. But that was only beginning.
Suddenly, somebody on the beach shouted,“
Shark” and started to point in my direction.
I was sure
that there wasn’t any shark nearby. But all
people on the beach looked at me. That was a
catastrophe. At that moment I felt that something
touched my leg. Was that, really, a shark? I
sharply moved my leg to strongly hit the alleged
predator. But instead of touching the rubbery
skin of sea monster, I felt a smooth piece of
fabric on my leg. With my hand I reached it. It
was swimming trunks. I put them on. In a second,
the lifeguard girl asked, “A you okay”.
I answered ,“Yes:”
Then, being
absolutely happy, I stood near the lifeguard
chair. I thanked the girl for saving my life.
When I moved my eyes down to look at my lucky
swimming trucks…And I realized they weren’t
my trunks.
At that moment
somebody started shouting from the ocean, “Help
me, I’m drowning”. The pretty girl
lifeguard rushed to ocean saying, “How it is
possible to have two similar accidents in one day?
What a day!”
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