Buggylove &
Ripov
by Albert Russo
A slow metamorphosis came
over Ripov. It had all started the day he picked
up a ladybird from a mud puddle. He would never
have dreamt that saving an insect could procure
him a pleasure so intense and enduring. He took
her along wherever he went. When she traveled
with her benefactor, Buggylove - that was her
nickname - had two favorite spots. She either
settled on his ringfinger or in the center of his
earlobe, pretending she was an exotic gem.
Spring was in the air and
the park sported its lovely new makeup. Ripov
brimmed over with happiness. He made a point of
rediscovering the city's nature nests and each
day chose a different place to have his picnic.
He, Buggylove and that symphony in green! What
more could he ask of life?
Sitting on an empty bench,
Ripov was hungrily munching at a pastrami
sandwich. His attention was caught by a splendid
yellow kite which performed elliptical waltzes
against the sky. A shadow suddenly cast itself
between him and the ethereal object. He nearly
swallowed the pastrami and his tongue with it. A
toothless, troll-like creature, wearing a poncho,
stood in front of him.
"Mind if I join you
for a bit?" the troll croaked. It then
produced a huge apple from under its garment and
offered it to Ripov. There was, an uncanny
resemblance between the fruit and the creature's
face. Both were covered with warts. Ripov found
himself holding the apple on his lap. It weighed
like lead.
"Raaahhh ... "
jubilated the troll, its eyes almost popping out
of their sockets as it noticed Buggylove on Ripov's
finger. "I knew it, I knew it, you ain't
like the others, you're my type o' guy,"
wheezed the creature, pawing Ripov's shoulder.
Instinctively, Ripov sprang
up from the bench and scampered away like a
tracked-down hare. Panting, he wound up on a
shady hilltop and clutched a branch. He felt he'd
wrenched himself out of a horror tale.
"Where are you,
Buggylove?" Ripov whispered. His earlobe
tickled. He gave a sigh of relief. "It's all
right, Buggylove, it's all right," Ripov
added in a singsong. "No bogeyman will ever
hurt you. Cross my heart." And Buggylove
tickled him again. At that very moment a young
couple emerged from behind a cluster of shrubs.
They were giggling but became mute as soon as
they saw Ripov. The boy was extraordinarily
handsome, almost too fragile for a human being.
His companion, though quite smartly dressed, had
an awkward appearance. There was also something
unauthentic about her.
Noticing Buggylove, the
girl exclaimed: "Oh, the little darling!"
Then she stared at Ripov and went on humming:
"What a darling!" Ripov smiled,
stuttered and blushed. The boy approached him and
smiled too. While the boy boldly kissed Ripov on
the mouth, the girl who wasn't a girl smacked him
gently and laughed, “Oh, you’re such a
sweet thing, Ripov!”
When Ripov came back to his
senses a moon crescent was shining through the
leaves. "Whatever happened, Buggylove, why
aren't we home?" He inquired softly. Then he
heard a voice, at once muffled and so close, he'd
have sworn it was his own conscience,
"You saved my life,
Ripov, I made a wish on a night like this. Anyone
who'd cast his or her eye over me would
immediately fall in love with you. Oh Ripov, you
deserve it so."
"Who's this?"
Ripov yelled, suddenly struck by amnesia.
“Me, jerk, your
BuggyIove, B U G G Y L 0 0 0 0 0 V E."
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