Kings,
Presidents and Stuff
by Albert Russo
I believe that Israel’s
prime minister, Bibi Netanyahu - learn your geo-politics,
bunch of country bumpkin floozies! - thinks he is
the new King David or King Solomon, on account
that he helped make Israel the Start-up Nation,
with some of the most advanced high-tech in the
world. He travels all over the place to gain new
allies and trade partners, and he’s very
successful. But he too is blamed for neglecting
the poor and the homeless of this tiny mighty lil
country, which is supposed to be the eighth world
power, wow.
Between you and me, I would
never wish to become a president, or a prime
minister, like Golda Meir, Indira Gandhi - poor
lassie, they murdered her, and her son, after her
too - or Maggie Tchatcher - did you watch the
movie with Meryl Streep? My uncle and I saw it
thrice on his TV, all the while we were eating
fried rice.
The population is never
ever content, and these leaders get insulted
right, left and center, whatever they do. I would
get a nervous breakdown every Monday morning,
fearing what the week would have in store, sfars
old misdemeanors and other petty crimes the press
would find to poison your life, coz they always
find skeletons hidden in closets, even in the loo.
They even go and fish stuff you’ve done when
you were a teenager, like getting stoned during a
surprise party. Gosh, I hate paparazzi, they’re
like hyenas that wait till their preys are half
eaten and stinking to low hell, before they sink
their fangs into what’s left of the rotting
carcasses.
Even the First Ladies get
the whip and can’t make a move without being
lashed at. I sometimes hear that heads of states
are political animals. What are they talking
about? How political can an animal be? Shucks,
woof and hysterics, is what I say, specially that
on top of all their shenanigans, they seem to be invert-e-brat
liars. Therefore and consequently, they
shamelessly hide the truth from their opponents
and, worse even, from the public, that’s US,
with promises they will never keep.
My uncle quoted a few
phrases from a book written by Signor Machiavelli,
a bigwig of the Italian Renaissance, in which he
tells his prince to be devious and traitorous,
and to forget about being honest, in order to
better crush his opponents - that includes his
own family - and gain all the power he needs.
Here are some of his
recommendations:
Men judge generally
more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone
can see and few can feel. Every one sees what you
appear to be, few really know what you are.
Politics have no relation to morals.
It is better to be feared than loved.
Vely vely mollal, as they say in Japan.
Apparently, this is the book politicians keep by
their bedside, along with the Bible. No wonder
they have nightmares, mixing the stories they
read.
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