Monsteroids
by Albert Russo
Low, very very low and
bee-hold, Goddess recompensed Job the pip-squeak
after he atoned, and the ladder began to
pee uncontrollably, kneeling on his own blood, in
a gesture of total submission - then suddenly he
learnt that the word Islam, a future religion,
actually meant submission.
Nowadays thousands of Fonda-mental-islamists
around the world terrorize the beejeezette
out of people doing their usual thing by
submitting to the urge of killing them in any way
they can, which is most barbaric and coward,
since those poor folk are not even warned that
their soul will leave them in a matter of seconds,
let alone that so many of them get maimed for
life. I heard someone say that there is no word
to qualify such acts. Well I have just invented a
definition for them: monsteroids fulla
haemorrhoids where there should be a brain.
And I haven’t finished cursing these women-,
gay-, human-, art-haters, who are also über-dinosaurish
critters, for, whenever my uncle and I travel by
plane, having to wait 3 friggin’ hours at
airports, forced to get almost naked, on account
that we have to be searched, even in places too
shocking to mention. Some of them guys who do
that kind of work touch you so lecherously you’d
think they are teaching us to become go-go gals
and guys. Sometimes, between my growls I have
hiccups mixed with the giggles - I then sound
like a ticklish dolphin - coz my uncle’s
pants drop to his feet, after he is asked to take
out his belt, and everybody can see the
ridiculous Mickey Mouse boxer shorts he wears;
thank goodness the elastic holding to his waist
is tight enough, otherwise, they’d have to
call the police for indecent exposure.
These monsteroids
deserve to be judged like in the Middle Ages,
since they don’t belong to our civilization.
They oughta be submitted to the kind of torture
the Chinese of yore were so good at: to slowly
pull their limbs apart, after having been impaled,
until they looked like what you see in a butcher’s
back yard. I’m sure the pieces of these poor
goons who were dealt such a cruel treatment
sometimes just for having squinted at the emperor,
not because they wanted to offend him, but
because they were born squinters, were then
thrown to the poor hungry people who believed
that what they were getting so generously was the
choice parts of piglets. But no, in our democrittering
societies, if these purpurtraitors
fulla pus don’t succeed in committing
suicide, they get the benefit of real justice
… shmustice, is what I call that.
It’s like trying to reason with a crocodile
who has just eaten a baby hippo. If you fail to
understand what I mean, go ask your sky-kayak-tryst
for an explanation. He’ll probably find some
kind of setchual motive for such
behavior. My mom who once had a psychotic lover
says that they’re all sex addicts anyway.
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