The Pros And
Cons Of AI Writing TV And Movie Scripts
by George Beckerman
PROS
1.
No coffee and donuts necessary.
2.
No break room necessary.
3.
No writer’s room story and character
development arguments.
4.
No writer’s room.
5.
Will not quit due to creative differences.
6.
Will not hit nor hit on other writers and/or
actors.
7.
Never calls in sick.
8.
No “Sorry, the dog ate my first draft”.
9.
Will not object to any studio or network script
notes no matter how fucking stupid they are.
10.
Will not join a union, ergo no strikes.
CONS
1.
Every tv script sounds like a Gilligan’s
Island episode.
2.
In “Godfather 4”, Don Corleone’s
great grandson is a cyborg.
3.
The new “Star Wars” movie has C-3PO’s
name above the title.
4.
In the “Succession” spinoff the ghost
of Logan Roy teams up with Don Draper and Tony
Soprano.
5.
The main characters in all of CBS’s new
shows are data processer’s who double as
detectives.
6.
Can’t distinguish tears of sadness from
tears of joy and doesn’t really give a shit.
7.
Can’t seem to get a handle on irony.
8.
The second draft is exactly the same as the first.
9.
The expression “Write what you know” is
now “Write what you don’t know”.
10.
If a satellite gets hit by space junk, game over.
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