Eye Of The
Beholder
by John Brooke
“Danny
boy I can’t see why you so keen on Elizabeth?”
“Well
Bill she has many hidden qualities that I find
attractive.”
“It sure
as shoot’n ain’t her eyes, they’re
the color of dirty dishwater.
“No
it’s definitely not her eyes, but they do
have that magical sparkle at times.”
“Dan she
seems to be growing a mustache?”
“Oh
that’s just a hormonal thing,”
“Is she
seeing an orthodontist about those tombstone buck
teeth, Ugh!”
“Yes she
is. Now kissing Lizzy can be a problem.”
“Looking
at her I can see that.”
“No I
mean smooching with her. Sometimes my lips
get caught in her braces.”
“Come off
it Dan. It can’t be her frizzy moldy hay
hair?”
“No
it’s not Lizzy’s crowning glory that I
find irresistible.”
“Speaking
of hair, how about her armpits? A jungle! Wild
furry legs with arms to match!”
“She
considers herself a natural woman!”
“Does she
have a hairy chest, too — eh?”
“Listen
Bill, I think your remarks are getting too far
out of line.”
“Take it
easy Dan. We’re long time buddies, I’m
trying to find the reason why you are so
attracted to Elizabeth with her frumpy lumpy
body.”
“You know
I admire beautiful women. Lizzy sure as heck
ain’t drop dead stunning.”
"Defiantly
at far end of the beautiful skin deep scale.”
“But I
have to tell you Danny old pal she has a
seductive form!”
“That’s
a joke, right?”
“No dummy,
it’s the gorgeous figure on her bank
statement!”
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