Where
Cheeseburgers Come From
by Lisa Barker
Recently,
while on vacation, the kids and I spied a little
shop called Sin Sations.
Fresh baked
donuts immediately sprang to mind and I drove
over, but for the life of me I could not
reconcile what I saw with the vision of glazed
goodies dancing in my wee brain. Sin Sations is
an adult shop and has nothing to do with bear
claws and éclairs.
I'm not as
worldly as I thought. Not by a long shot. Then,
the kids started asking questions.
"Ma, what's
that shop?"
"It's not
appropriate."
"It says
'toys'."
"Yes, but
not for kids."
"What is
sex?"
"Who
wants a Happy Meal?" At least I know I can
count on what I anticipate when I see golden
arches.
Which reminds
me…recently, the kids and I were gift buying
and my son and I stepped into a shop with flashy
lights, lava lamps and t-shirts with attitude in
the window. We couldn't see the other
items they offered until we stepped inside.
My son quickly
announced that the store was not appropriate for
us. A father of three little ones had reached the
same conclusion and was quickly leading his
children back out the door.
Once outside
my son asked, "Did you see that one t-shirt?"
Was that all
he saw? Thank you, God, for that! "Isn't
there a McDonald's around here?" I asked,
falling back on my tried and true change of topic.
It's getting
so that I look for the golden arches as my savior
for these types of situations. And it must be
rubbing off on the kids.
Flipping
through the television stations the other night a
very inappropriate ad for wild young people
appeared and was quickly changed. And, like
Pavlov's dog, all the kids piped up: "Can we
get a McFlurry?"
You know what
this means, don't you?
It means I'm
going to be spending a whole lot of money at
McDonald's as the kids mature. For some there are
the birds and bees. For me, it's double
cheeseburgers and milkshakes.
Once upon a
time Dad and Mom met at McDonald's and we ordered
two double quarter-pounders with cheese…and,
because we loved each other very much, they gave
us five little cheeseburgers to boot!
I'm sure that
lesson will be clear as ketchup.
Seriously,
though, the kids already know where cheeseburgers
come from. They also know all about condiments,
too, thanks to Health Ed.
I just want
them to wait until they find a good corn-fed
patty on a wholesome whole-grain bun before they
start thinking about making cheeseburgers. And
I think they will. Thanks to my analogies,
the older ones will never look at a cheeseburger
the same again.
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