by Eric Miller
Her name was
Cougar Lugar, and she was a dental recruiter for
Gusher Oil. She handed her business card to Dr.
Chip Redstone as he stood at her booth at the
dental convention. He smiled as he read We
suck, but only for oil, all over the world.
you think?, Cougar cooed.
what?," Chip chirped, cluelessly.
exotic places, an experience of a lifetime.
havent even formally introduced ourselves.
I really think its way too soon for me to
accept an invitation to your apartment.
Im talking about is way better than my
then, tell me more. Better than your place must
be very special.
is. Its a faraway place where oil flows
like silver dollars spilling out of a slot
kind of oil are we talking about?
gold, she said, with a seriously, seductive
gold doesnt do anything for me.
theres a lot of golden gold associated with
where is this faraway place?
you say that?
just said Hahakabia.
Im not sneezing. Im saying the name
of a country in the Mid-East.
then, I must state for the record, that I think
your place would be a far, far better place than
I have ever been before.
you are not taking me seriously.
contraire, I am probably taking you way too
seriously for my own good.
you mean by that?
more than gushing testosterone.
suit yourself. Youre missing a great
Tell me about the bistros, brasseries, cabarets,
tapas bars, cinemas, and theater there.
all culturally authentic.
to what culture?
what I was afraid of.
nothing to be afraid of. We have an excellent
corporate security force.
that you need and have one is not reassuring.
a very hard sell, Doctor. You need to lighten up.
where is Hahakabia?
sort of in the center of a triangle made by
Kakamania, Barbarastan, and Plaja.
its in the middle of nowhere.
ever been there, yourself?
company wont let me go there by myself. I
have to be accompanied.
agree to go, will you go with me.
Oh no. I
couldnt go to a place like that.
We want you, very much, to go there.
something I said?
say something I missed?
pretty much everything.
you, or wont you go?
Youre joking, arent you.
could I be joking. I am a recruiter. Its my
job to get you interested.
youve gotten me interested, very interested.
There is no doubt about that.
youll go then?
dinner, here, tonight.
me. I really thought I had won you over.