Is My Son Gay?
10 Questions for Mom to Answer
by Walt
Giersbach
Now
available on the Android market: An app that
answers questions normally addressed only in
heart-to-heart chats and soul-baring discussions.
For only $2.69, users can download “Is My
Son Gay”, an app that promises to answer
questions normally addressed only in heart-to-heart
chats and soul-baring discussions.
--The Daily Mail: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2042833/Google-app-Is-Your-Son-Gay-Android-comes-fire.html#ixzz1ZGllwa5R.
Mothers, these are the burning questions that
will determine once and for all whether your son
is straight or gay, and whether you’ll ever
be a grandmother.
1. When
drinking milk, does your son prefer
--Skim milk
--2% milk
--Lactose-free milk
--Homogenized milk
2. When
your son goes horseback riding, does he choose a
--Western saddle
--Eastern “pancake” saddle
--Bareback
--Side saddle
3. Is
your son emotionally
--taciturn
--somnolent
--melancholic
--gay
4. If
your son were a flower, would you characterize
him as a
--rose
--begonia
--tulip
--pansy
5. When
your son is surprised, does he exclaim
--that’s curious
--that’s strange
--that’s odd
--that’s queer
6. At a
Halloween costume party, would your son be most
comfortable arriving as
--Vin Diesel
--Kiefer Sutherland
--Ashton Kutcher
--Barbra Streisand
7. Your
son’s favorite clothing designer is
--Nike
--Ecko
--Polo
--Prada
8. Given
a choice when dining out, does your son choose
--Steak
--Seafood
--Poultry
--Fruit platter
9. Use
your watch to check your son’s response to
this statement:
It takes 7
seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A
human hair can hold 3 kg. The length of a penis
is 3X the length of a thumb. The femur is as hard
as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster
than a man's. Women blink 2X as much as men. We
use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we
stand.
(In 6 seconds,
a woman will read this entire statement. In
that time, a man is still looking at his thumb.)
10. When
you ask your son about Judy Garland, does he say
--He hates Judy Garland
--He adores Judy Garland
--He hates people who adore Judy Garland
--He wishes he were Judy Garland
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