Mirth
by Eric Miller
Mirth Mulligan's
primary goal in life is to be entertained. As
anyone who knows him will tell you, whenever he
walks into a room, he skips the usual and
customary salutations and just says "Entertain
me."
He always
wonders whether people are laughing with him or
at him. It is a natural thing for him to do,
because he is always trying to get a laugh by
humorously playing off what he hears, or
purposely setting someone up for some hopefully
amusing follow-up repartee.
People who don't
know him, don't get him. People who do know him,
get him, have heard it all before, and have had
enough of him. This leaves Mirth a bit defensive,
until someone laughs at something he's said.
Others will then jump in immediately with alarm
at the sound of laughter, and admonish the person
who has laughed to cease and desist because it
only encourages him. And this is why Mirth is
never sure if the sound of laughter is with him
or at him. But that's okay, because he knows who
he is and why he does what he does. Down deep, he
really does know who laughs with him and who
laughs at him, but it doesn't matter, because
Mirth just needs to laugh, even if it's by
himself, at himself.
His wife is
always giving him her signature gaze when he gets
rolling, and when they're alone later, she'll
give him a mouthful of criticism about how he
pushes the envelope "much too far, much too
far."
"Exhausting"
seems to be the answer most people give to
describe Mirth's persona. He calls himself
"a social provocateur, or the devil's
advocate, who breaks the silent, insipid, and
vapid ice jams of social interaction." But
then again, "horse's ass" is not an
unheard alternative assessment that has been
offered.
In any case,
Mirth tries to get beyond whether the laughter is
pro or con. He tries to tell himself that it
doesn't matter, because he considers himself self-deprecating,
although the accusations of being irritating do
have merit. But for Mirth, a world without
repartee about sex, sports, politics, and
religion is beyond boring. "Nice day, isn't
it?" doesn't get the juices flowing for him.
And conversations about automotive accessories
don't start his engine, because he doesn't care
what color or brand or model car he drives. To
him, it's just a box with four wheels, and
hopefully reliable.
Sometimes,
when his wife is really piling it on about his
nonsense, he will go to a party and repeat, all
night, Eliza Doolittle's famous lines from "Pygmalion":
"How nice of you to have me come; The rain
in Spain falls mainly on the plain; and
Hurricanes hardly happen in Hartford, Hereford,
and Hampshire." This, of course, engenders a
critical barrage from his wife about his being
disengaged, rude, not himself, boring, and
socially unacceptable.
So, if you
ever cross paths with Mirth, don't worry if you
don't laugh at his nonsense. He'll laugh for you.
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