Sticking Up for
Old Folks
by Walt
Giersbach
“Google has
received a patent on technology that would help
you stick to a car. When a car strikes a
pedestrian, much of the injury results when the
pedestrian hits the ground. Google’s
solution would cover the car with an adhesive
layer similar to double-sided duct tape.”
---American Association for Retired Persons
Bulletin
Edna is a wonderful friend, but often
careless with fire and sharp objects. “Put
it down to distraction,” her husband George
told me. Both things were the cause of George’s
demise when Edna squirted gasoline onto a grill
that he was trying to fire up and he fell back
onto the steak knife she was fetching for him.
Before his passing, George
had recognized Edna’s distraction and had
the car covered in Googlehesive, a miracle
product that protects pedestrians one runs over.
“The real danger to the careless walker is
when he or she ricochets off onto the pavement,”
he explained. “It’s like falling off a
building. Not the fall that kills you but the
sudden stop.”
After the funeral and
against my better judgement, I joined Edna in
going to see the fall foliage. We hadn’t
gotten but a mile or two down the pike when we
heard a thump. Looking from the window, I saw a
cat sticking to my door. Edna blissfully plowed
around a curve and walloped a postal carrier. He
stuck to the bonnet with letters flying away like
leaves. A moment later and a trash can bumped up
onto the fender.
“Edna,” I
screamed. “You’ve just collected a cat
and postal carrier and a trash can! And they’re
sticking to the car like Christmas tree ornaments!”
Edna put her hands to her
face, and said in shock, “Oh, good heavens,
you mean I’m driving? I thought you were!”
That Edna, what a wonderful
person. But a wise friend knows to keep a certain
distance.
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