The Teddy Bar
by Michael S.
cant you help me? I was coming back from
the party and I cant remember the way home.
The pink koala bear I just passed was so unkind
about it. No respect for the youth of today.
me, sir, I said, Could you point the
way to Katies bedroom?
away, said the koala, Cant you
see Im contemplating the existence of
dragons exist! I saw one at the party!
be silly, child. There are no answers in
And off he
walked, giving neither food for thought nor
directions to my young mistresses bed. It
may have come to your notice that I am not your
regular rambler on a Friday night. Yes, I am a
look at me like that, as if I must be mad. A
teddy bear is a perfectly normal thing to be.
There are sixty million Teddy bears in Britain
alone, so why should it surprise you that I am
one of the proud many? Or, is your surprise based
on the fact that I am making my way down the road
in the early hours?
I suppose I
could let you in on a secret. Were not
exactly toys. We live. We have short attention
spans. To make up for everything you subject us
to during the day, we come out to play at night.
Tonight I was at Snappy the Crocodiles
birthday, and having had too much wine, I
cant remember the way home. I got to the
pub with Snappy, but last I saw he was playing
cards with two scheming pandas.
This street is
brightly lit. What if Im spotted? To be
fair, any person who spots me will think they had
too much drink. But some of them might find
beheading a childs toy great fun, and that
is what I fear. Beheading of lost teddy bears is
the highest growing crime in Europe. And that
would be a hideous fate for any creature,
especially one as wonderful as me.
remember the path home. There is some way of
going past the garage without entering the park
a scary trip for anyone after dark
and hopefully the fresh air will help my memory.
Well, it is worth a try. The streets seem so dark.
I think there was a power cut affecting the
lamplights. Either that or they just dont
expect people coming home at this time.
There they are!
They were lurking in the darkness at the foot at
the street, just behind the car workshop: no-gooders,
of a teenage human male type. And this meant only
one thing. Beheading was but a false step away.
They ignored me, and I could slip past them into
the garden. The garden? Im home. I walked
so much that Ive ended up home after all. I
quickly climbed in through the open window,
dusted myself down and climbed into bed.
Home safe now.
I always knew I would be. And no one knows about
this little journey. Except you and me. You
wont tell anyone about this, will you? Mind
you, it wouldnt matter if you did, no one
would ever believe you. After all, I am a Teddy