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Three Pieces of Flash Humor
by Samuel R. George

One Hand Clapping

The Zen master assembled the three students. One of the Master’s fingers was thick with charcoal. He touched each on the forehead with a fingertip. Each was asked if he had a black mark on his forehead. After studying the other two students, each replied yes. None of them, in fact, did. All three of them, upon their cheeks, felt the sting of one hand clapping.

~*~*~*~*~

The Compassion of the Marquis de Sade

Tenderness came over the Marquis. The poor beautiful creature, he thought, it is wrong to imprison her so. “I have one little task for you my pretty, and then I shall set you free.” A naked girl was bound face down upon the bed. He placed the jar upon her buttocks. When the wasp had stung her a few times, he removed the jar, allowing the insect to fly out of the open window. The girl’s horrible screaming would be intolerable were she not gagged.

De Sade stood triumphant in the sunlight, resplendent in his satin breeches, lambskin boots, silken white shirt with ruffles, and hairpiece powdered to perfection. His clear blue intelligent eyes denoted a libertine and friend of the revolution.

~*~*~*~*~

Fear (And a Slap)

They were discussing fear. Charlotte had brought it up. Doc told her that fear is conquered by exposure. “Take you for example,” he said, and Charlotte’s face became less serene. “I remember a time when you were afraid to take a bath with me,” he continued. Now her face took on a grave seriousness, Doc had her rapt attention. “Why we’ve bathed together so many times now that…”

A loud “smack” resounded as Charlotte slapped Doc. He bowed solemnly, “I apologize my dear, I forget myself at times.
The Peyote Kid almost smiled.

“Don’t worry Doc,” she said, not so ruffled anymore, “I won’t let you forget yourself for long!”

~*~*~*~*~