Bad DIY Idea
by Michael C.
Keith
“Your face is falling
away from your skull. That’s why you look
older. The tissue’s underpinning is giving
way resulting in geriatric sag. This gets worse
every year until you end up looking like a Shar-Pei,”
said Dr. Goldfarb.
“Oh, that’s
terrible,” moaned Mrs. Hebe, inspecting the
large bags under her eyes in the magnified mirror.
“We can staple you
back if you don’t want surgery, but this
only holds for a while. Again, I would suggest a
full facelift. It will give you what you want,
and it will last longer than the alternatives. It’s
your decision, Mrs. Hebe. So what do you want to
do?” asked the plastic surgeon.
“Well, I’m not
going under the knife, so I’ll go with the
other option you mentioned. Besides, it will be a
lot cheaper.”
“Not really that
much cheaper . . . ”
“Of course it will be,
doctor!” protested Mrs. Hebe. “I have a
stapler at home.”
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