Last Night
by Shonna Gillis
“I gotta
have a cigarette for this story.”
“Ok, well
just hurry up and go buy a pack,” I say.
Brandon comes
out smacking his pack and asks “When’s
the last time you saw me last night? Well anyways,
did I seem really fucked up?”
“Yeah,
you were fucked up, but you’re always fucked
up, but I wasn’t really paying attention, I
was talking to some guy at the bar. I
remember you running up to me and calling me your
favorite slut.”
“Really?”
“Yes,
really. So what happened? First you tell me you
have to tell me in person, then you say you have
to have a cigarette. You have your cigarette,
what happened?”
“Well,
I’m not really sure. I think someone
slipped something into my drink.”
“Brandon,
why would a girl slip something into your drink?”
“I dunno,
but I couldn’t have been that fucked up.”
“So, tell
me what happened.”
“So…and
this is just from what I remember after seriously
thinking about it all day. Okay, so we leave the
bar and I have my bike, ya know? So I guess they
carry it home for me, well not home but back to
their house, right? So they carry my bike
upstairs to their apartment.” He takes a big
drag. “Okay, so after that I think I just
passed out on the floor as soon as we walk in.”
He takes in a large drag, sucking on his
cigarette, making it glow and darken like the
change in a traffic light. “And the next
thing I remember is one of the girls yelling at
me telling me to get the fuck out, and telling me
to leave or she’s gonna call the cops. So
she takes my bike and throws it down the stairs
and is pushing me out the door. This is at like
four in the morning. I’m still really drunk,
probably more drunk than I was when I got there.
I put on my wheel backwards, ride it home half-way
like that barely holding on to the handlebars. I
get half-way before I realize the wheel is on
backwards, so I fix it and somehow make it home."
“So why
did she kick you out?”
“Well,”
takes a last drag and puts out the cigarette,
“I guess I peed all over her floor.”
“What?!”
“Yeah, I
peed on her floor and now she has my favorite hat
and my bike lock and won’t give them back.”
“Did you
ask her?”
“Yeah, I
called her earlier. That’s how I found out
why she kicked me out.”
“Sounds
like you were just really fucked up to me.”
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