The Suicide
Calendar
by Michael C.
Keith
Why take
life seriously? You’ll never get out of it
alive.
–– Elbert Hubbard
Back when Avery Mandel was feeling really low, he
designated a date when he would take his life if
things didn’t improve. Unfortunately they
hadn’t by the time the date arrived, but he
couldn’t bring himself to end his life. His
finger froze on the gun’s trigger as he held
the barrel in his mouth, and after several
minutes he gave up on the idea . . . for the
moment.
Later that
same afternoon, Avery decided on another date to
kill himself––this one a month hence.
However, when that date arrived, he still couldn’t
do it. Goddamn it, you pathetic coward. You
don’t want to live, but you haven’t got
the gumption to take action to change things,
he thought, feeling more depressed than ever.
This went on
for months until Avery reached the breaking point.
“Okay, I’ll
definitely do it on the 31st of
December, my birthday,” he decided and
marked that date on the calendar.
On the first
day of his 39th year, he rose and went
to his desk where he stored his 38-caliber
handgun.
“This is
it. I’m really going to do it this time.
Life is just a misery, and I can’t take it
anymore,” he mumbled, placing the gun to his
temple. “It’s now or never, Avery.
Things are never going to get better for me . . .
not if I live to be a hundred.”
Avery pressed
the trigger, but nothing happened. He dropped to
his knees gasping for air and trembling. Oh,
my God! I’m not dead, he thought, and
then realized he had not loaded the gun.
“Son of a
bitch, I’m screwed now!” he cried,
dropping his pistol. “I don’t have a
new calendar.”
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