Last night I danced and you watched me with wonder
Today I peered over courgettes at you my face black as thunder
The shame of you seeing me like a frazzled warthog
As you wondered over my transformation from glamour queen to rough dog

Why the benefit of hindsight has eluded me once more
Had I had it - I never would have stepped from my door!
Or at least awoke 2 hours earlier to commence make up and hair
So I could of eyed you over the frozen pizzas proud and fair

Instead of demonically perring round aisles like a possessed hunter
Desperately avoiding a second meeting and you thinking "Ugh Munter!"
For coming face to face, nay twould be better to face death and despair
Than to be seen hunched over a trolley with unbrushed teeth and dodgy hair!