I cracked the code
and broke into your phone.

You’d mapped your day with care;
in point of fact,

you’d racked your brains
to sneak off on your own.

You said you’d need
to factor in some rest;

that stress and over-work
had sapped your strength.

In fact, your health seemed fine;
from what I saw,

I might have backed you
for a personal best

I’ve packed your bags;
they’re outside with the trash.

I’ve keyed your car and set fire
to your clothes.

Here’s twenty quid in case
you’re strapped for cash.

Forget the joint account:
it’s cleared and closed.

Don’t look at me like that;
you trapped yourself.

You wrapped your arms
around her large as life.

The fact is lust can
undermine your wealth

when you’re captured –
thus enraptured – by your wife.