Dr. Mariani’s
Anti-Aging Dream Machine
by Jerry Guarino
Dr. Nicholas Mariani was a
mad scientist. He was mad at the government. He
was mad at the medical establishment. He was mad
at his ex-wife. And he was crazy too.
He was also jealous of his cousin, the famous
detective in San Francisco.
Nicholas had his chances. After graduating from
Stanford, he was accepted at a medical school in
the Bahamas. There he alternated his studies with
chasing local women and drinking to excess. That’s
where he met his wife, Galy, although uneducated,
quite striking and still more mature than he was.
She stayed with him long enough to get married in
the United States, then began a string of affairs
with less boorish men. They divorced shortly
after returning to California, where she took
half of his medical salary as alimony, but
leaving the student loans to him.
He managed to get an internship at a hospital,
working in the emergency room. That was going
well until he started to argue with hospital
administrators, about having to work the worst
shifts and be on call even when he had days off.
They asked him to find another hospital, which he
did. That went well for a year, but then he was
reprimanded for missing too many shifts, those
that interfered with his social life. Finally, he
entered a sleep disorders clinic, to set up and
run sleep studies.
He noticed that patients with sleep apnea were
constantly tired and aging prematurely. If only
some treatment could be devised to address these
symptoms. Nicholas created a new type of CPAP
facemask, similar to the kind that fighter pilots
wear. Instead of air, the machine would push out
oxygen to the nose and mouth. And not just oxygen,
75% oxygen and 25% of other gases that were mixed
in to stimulate endorphins and increase serotonin
in the brain while the patient slept. Theory was
that patients would wake up more refreshed and
with a clearer mind, enhanced memory and
increased energy. The patients reported very
lucid dreams, which they could remember in the
morning. He decided to call his invention the
anti-aging dream machine.
But he needed a way to test it out on actual
patients. He knew his clinic wouldn’t
approve a trial with apnea patients, so he
conducted his tests secretly when he was alone at
night. The first patient responded positively to
the sleep study. His oxygen levels were up and he
felt more energy. Mariani gradually added more
patients to his new machine trial, with similar
results. Perhaps life was starting to turn around.
But then a lawyer came to the clinic. One of the
patients that Mariani was experimenting with had
a psychotic episode at work and then threatened
to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. The clinic
promptly fired Mariani and settled the law suit.
They had to contact and manage the five other
patients who had received treatment with the
dream machine. Mariani signed a non-disclosure
agreement prohibiting him from discussing the
termination.
He applied for a federal grant to pursue the use
of his machine. At first, he was granted enough
money for the study, so long as he reported his
findings to a medical review board. But he did
not disclose the other gases in his machine. When
the review board looked at his results, they
couldn’t believe oxygen alone could be
responsible for the patient results. He was
summoned to testify. Once he admitted to the
other gases mixed in the machine, they terminated
his study and pulled his medical license.
The other gases included a form of LSD.
Dr.
Mariani’s Anti-Aging Dream Machine by Jerry
Guarino
Copyright April, 2020 – All Rights Reserved
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