Hamlet, Prince
Of Denmark
by Len Horridge
HAMLET,
PRINCE OF DENMARK
ACT
I Scene VI
Enter
Hamlet, with sword.
| HAMLET: |
Claudius? Claudius!
I want you here, Claudius |
Claudius enters.
|
| CLAUDIUS: |
Hamlet, didst thou
call? |
| HAMLET: |
Yes, I didst call. |
| CLAUDIUS: |
What’s wantest
thou? |
| HAMLET: |
Did you kill my
Father? |
| CLAUDIUS: |
Well, you could put
it that way-est. |
| HAMLET: |
Okay, so,
there’s only one thing I can do. |
| CLAUDIUS: |
Procrastinate? |
| HAMLET: |
No, I don’t do
rude stuff. |
| CLAUDIUS: |
What willest thou
doest then? |
| HAMLET: |
This. |
Hamlet stabs Claudius
with his sword.
Claudius falls to the
ground..
|
| CLAUDIUS: |
Thou hast killed me. |
| HAMLET: |
You noticed. |
Enter Horatio.
|
| HORATIO: |
What hast thou done? |
| HAMLET: |
Well, I found out
that Claudius, King of Denmark, had
killed my Father so, having had a chat
with my dead Dad, I realised that I had
to wreak revenge, so I took out my sword
and here we are . |
| HORATIO: |
Oh, right. No
procrastination then? |
| HAMLET: |
Oh, no, I
don’t do that, I just be and do.. |
| HORATIO: |
Okay. Well,
here’s the problem. |
| HAMLET: |
No problem, problem
solved, King’s dead, I inherit the
throne, tell the good people of Denmark,
this wonderful state, what’s
happened, sort it with my Mother, the
slut, and, hey, we’ll all live
happily ever after. Once I’ve
married Ophelia, of course |
| HORATIO: |
Yes. But we’ve
still got two hours of the play to fill. |
| HAMLET: |
Ah. Good point.
Procrastination has its uses… |
| HORATIO: |
Yes, in this case... |
| HAMLET: |
Do you know any
songs? |
| HORATIO: |
Not really. I can
tap-dance… |
| HAMLET: |
Okay, I’ll cue
the music... |
Enter
dancing girl, orchestra and man Polonius selling
ice-creams.
Lights
fade, audience boo.
|
