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Pardon
by Michael Franklin

“Well  Arthur... We seem to be dealing with your constipation problem, but it is evident to me talking to you across this desk that you have another handicap.”

“Pardon Doctor.”

“YOU HAVE ANOTHER HANDICAP...”

“Another handy cap? No I do not. This trilby has lots of life left in it.”

“I MEAN YOU ARE GETTING CLOSE TO DEAF...”

“To death? Are you telling me I am dying?”

“NO - BUT YOU ARE, AS I KNOW, EIGHTY...”

“Weighty? Certainly not Doctor. I am only two hundred pounds. Not fat yet.”

“HEAR ME ARTHUR - YOU ARE AGING...”

“I’m not raging Doctor. I am calm and gentle.”

“YOU NEED ASSISTANCE!”

“I don’t need assistants. My grand-daughter comes in an helps me every day.”

“I MEAN YOU HAVE AN EAR PROBLEM...”

“My only near problem is understanding you Doctor.”

“YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND...”

“Unders tanned? Sunbathing without knickers on?”

”Oh dear - I give up!”

“Don’t give up Doc. Put me down for a hearing aid!”