An Introverted
Life
by Tom Luddecke
There are
three people who live in my house; me, myself,
and I, and most of the time it is an unbearable
situation at best. I would guess that it is
because there is a lot of inner turmoil within
myself. I can see why not getting along with
myself is so very difficult for me to understand.
Sometimes
I’m just beside myself and all hell breaks
loose with anything from name-calling to thrown
objects. I keep reminding myself that I am a
person too, and need my own space from time to
time. I usually end up leaving in a huff because
I really don’t want to hurt myself.
Unfortunately these blow-ups leave me stuck in
the middle cleaning up the mess.
One day it all
finally came to a head. During the last
donnybrook I somehow managed to lock myself in
the closet, and then pretended that nothing was
wrong. However, it didn’t take me long to
realize what I had done to myself. It really hit
home. I know it hurts me to have to witness and
suffer these rancorous confrontations. So I
promised not to do that to myself anymore, but it
was obvious to me that I couldn’t be trusted
to keep my word. This troubled me and I finally
began to realize that I can’t blame myself
for everything that happens around here.
The problem
was I didn’t truly have faith in myself to
behave properly and needed to overcome this
felling of doubt if things were going to get
better. If it were up to me there should be a
heartfelt discussion to help heal this
relationship. I suggested that perhaps even
seeking outside professional help would be a
better solution.
So I took
myself to counseling, and after a few soul-searching
sessions, and many tears of contrition, I began
to feel better about myself and headed for home
with a renewed optimism.
This
perceptible change in attitude delighted me to no
end. I will admit it is still not a perfect
association, but at least now I can use some
psychological coping skills I learned to help me
understand myself when I get distressed.
There are
three people who live in my house; me, myself,
and I, and most of the time now there is a
fragile harmony within. I know there is still
work to be done, but I always tell myself it
isn’t fair to me not to keep trying. Things
will get better because, when all is said and
done, I really like everyone, myself included.
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