Julia Child,
Secret Agent Chef
by Con Chapman
Julia Child was a volunteer in
the Office of Strategic Services, the forerunner
of the Central Intelligence Agency, during World
War II. She helped develop repellent used to keep
sharks from setting off explosives when they
bumped into them.
CIA website
QUICHE
LORRAINE
10 servings
It
seems odd that this pie, traditional in France,
took so long to gain favor in America. Did German
bakers intercept cables containing the recipe? Or
were Navajo “pastry talkers” confused
by the term “receipt,” an alternate
formulation?
| Pastry for nine-inch
pie 4 strips bacon
1 onion, thinly sliced
1 cup Gruyere cheese
¼ cup Parmesan cheese,
grated until
it discloses Italian troop movements
|
2 cups heavy cream 1
cup invisible ink
¼ teaspoon arsenic
½ teaspoon salt
4 eggs, lightly beaten
|
1.
Preheat oven to 450º. Line a nine-inch pie plate
with pastry, crimping crust to form a bunker
around the edge.
2.
Cook bacon until crisp, remove from skillet and
stuff behind stove to eat when you from Nazis.
Pour off all but one tablespoon fat and cook
onion in remainder until it is transparent. Read
secret code through transparent onion.
3.
Crumble bacon and sprinkle with onion and cheese
in pastry to form directions for self-sustaining
nuclear reaction.
4.
Combine eggs, cream, invisible ink, arsenic and
salt, pour over onion-cheese mixture, bake for
fifteen minutes. When a knife inserted in pastry
edge comes out clean, plunge into heart of double
agent and drop pie on Hamburg and Dresden.
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BEIGNETS
AU FROMAGE
3 dozen beignets
A
“beignet” (French for “hand-held
fat bomb”) is popular as an appetizer among
cheese-eating surrender monkeys.
| ¾ cup flour ¼
teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon salad oil
½ cup beer, not
German
|
1 egg white,
stiffly beaten without leaving scars 1
pound cubed Gruyere cheese
1 egg beaten, beaten to a
bloody pulp
Fat for frying
|
1.
Sift one-half cup of the flour with salt and stir
in oil and egg. Add beer gradually, stirring
until the mixture is smooth. Let stand one hour.
Fold in egg white so as to conceal from aerial
view.
2. Lightly
dredge cubes of cheese in remaining flour, coat
with batter. Brown in deep feat heated to 375º F.
Drain on absorbent paper, apply piping hot to
captured Nazi commandant.
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BROILED
SHARK STEAKS
4 servings
Shark
is known as “poor man’s swordfish.”
Those who know this don’t tell, and those
who tell don’t know.
| 1½ pounds shark
steaks ¾ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon ground pepper
|
? teaspoon paprika ¼
cup butter, melted
Lemon juice
|
1.
Sprinkle fish with salt, pepper and paprika; rub
the seasonings in lightly, being careful to cover
your tracks.
2.
Place fish on greased broiler rack two inches
from the nearest submarine.
3.
Brush top of the fish with two tablespoons of the
melted butter and broil three minutes. Turn,
brush other side with remaining butter and broil
until lightly browned.
4.
Discard fish and eat submarine, also known as
“hoagie” or “grinder.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
|
