The Yolk's on
You
by Marian Brooks
Kevin Colsen
was by far the worst boyfriend June ever had. He
was also the best boyfriend, sometimes on the
same day. Over a two year period, this
became painful and tedious. On the one hand
he’d say something insensitive and cruel and
then quickly apologize on his knees. He was the
most affectionate man she had ever known,
generous, smart and funny. Once, after a
screaming fight in which he called June the
“c” word, she walked out swearing never
to return. The next day, Kevin appeared at
her door with jewelry, not junk jewelry either.
His greatest act of contrition took the form of one
carat diamond earrings, that is one carat for
each ear. That bought him a little more time. He
swore he loved her more than words could say.
The inevitable
break up occurred on an evening when they were
out for dinner with June’s married friends.
June ordered a Caesar Salad which the waiter
mixed at the table. He realized that he’d
forgotten an ingredient or two and went back into
the kitchen. But the eggs were on the tray
right in front of Kevin. He described what
happened next as a misunderstanding, intended to
be some kind of twisted prank. He tapped one
of the eggs on June’s head assuming the egg
to be hard boiled. As Kevin probably knew, eggs
for Caesar Salad are raw. There June sat with the
yolk dripping down the side of her face deciding
what to do. She imagined that all her
friends were thanking God that they were married
and didn’t have to deal with dating
situations like this one. June was a lady.
Instead of cracking the remaining egg over
Kevin’s skull, she quietly got up from her
seat and walked into the Rest Room to rinse her
hair. She was able to salvage the French braid
which now looked sleek and shiny but stiff as a
board. She called a cab, said good-bye to her
friends and left the premises.
The next time
June saw Kevin, he was walking hand in hand with
his new-found love. She was wearing a pricey
emerald necklace.
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