A Few Gallons of
Prevention
by Paul Handley
Cold experts
have warned us that we continuously reinfecting
ourselves. I have put into a place a
strategy to stop the cold cycle. I’ve only
had a cold for about three weeks, but it feels
like triple that time.
Oral hygiene
products are where the most obvious danger lurks.
I buy a crate of airplane bottle mouthwash and
toothbrushes. Initially I would get a pour from a
standard sized bottle of mouthwash into a clean
glass. I started running downstairs from my
second floor bathroom to get a clean glass every
time I needed a cleaning swig. It was too
much for me, especially with my illness. Airplane
bottles were the answer, but they were still too
big for one serving of swish. At first I would
take a swallow and pour the rest into a glass for
later on. Unfortunately, the breath purifier
would be knocking up against my ring of mouth
germs lining the top of the bottle and become
tainted. I learned and started pouring the first
half into a shot glass.
All those
airplane bottles were becoming inconvenient and I
had half-filled shot glasses of mouthwash
everywhere. So I started running downstairs from
my second floor bathroom to get a clean shot
glass every time. Although, this was a pain in
the ass, I finally was able to use my entire shot
glass collection that hardly ever gets more than
3 or 4 used at a time, which was satisfying. To
solve my problem of multiple trips I started to
carry them up on a serving tray.
To try and
conserve my crate of toothbrushes I started
placing them in the dishwasher. I had to do them
separately because it was grossing out my wife.
So, it was tough to get access unless I was the
one who emptied the dishwasher and got right on
it. In a pinch I would heat up a kettle of water
that I use to make the thirty cups of tea I drink
a day and pour the steam over my collection of
toothbrushes. I don’t care what anyone says,
the caffeine in tea has the power of a mouse
squeaking next to a power lawn mower. Anyway,
the dishwasher and the kettle water were wilting
my bristles and melting down the brush handles,
so these methods were only good for a couple of
cycles. Got to go. I have to wrestle
the surgeon mask back on my 5 year old daughter.
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