Bomb
by Doug Hawley
Two tough men
walk into a bar separately. Other than
them, the bar is empty. The pretty
tough one says to the ugly tough one “Nobody
else here, want to have a drink with me?”
“Sure.”
“Pleased
to meet you. I’m the super secret
British agent Bomb, Jimmy Bomb, but both my
friends and enemies call me Jimbo. Don’t
tell anyone else about my secret identity. You’re
the only one to whom I’ve revealed my
identity, at least today.”
“I’m
Ivan Dreck, the super villain. Let me
buy us some drinks. Barman, get us
five bottles of Thunderbird Ripple and a quart of
Tang for my new friend and myself.”
“I can’t
tell you about my Secret Service exploits such as
the time I boiled Ricardo Vanilli in olive oil
and fed him to his family, but maybe you can tell
me about your worst acts”.
“I
invented rap music and the mobile phone.”
“OK, I
understand about rap, but what’s so bad
about mobiles?”
“Ever
been stuck in a room with someone explaining his
proctology report over his mobile?”
“OK, I
get it. By the way, I poisoned your
drink.”
“That’s
OK, I switched it.”
“But I
also switched it a number of times.”
“So who
was poisoned?”
“Don’t
know, lost track.”
Later, Dreck
wakes up in bed with Bomb spooning him.
“What the
hell, I thought that you poisoned the drink. And
aren’t you supposed to bed the voluptuous,
but evil Pooh Denda.”
“OK a
lied a little; it wasn’t poison, it was a
roofie. You must have watched my
movies in a straight theatre. If you
had seen, say, “Her Majesty Got Served”
in San Francisco, you would have seen that I
swing a number of ways. I played the
queen in that one. In “Jaws, Back
To The Beach” I played Bruce The Shark.
”
Dreck rolls
over for a closer look at Bomb. “I
can see why you never made any X rated movies.”
Coming to
Theatres Soon Thunder Balls.
Appeared
in Dirty Pool (hiatus)
|
