by Bobby Macleod
Alec added the
final touches of gold leaf to the cake. He could
barely contain his excitement as he stood back to
have a look at it in all its glory. A
faberge egg styled cake filled with peach, orange,
whiskey, and layered with a champagne jelly and
light biscuit. He dimmed the lights and waited
for his girlfriend to come home from work.
through the door, her hair matted from the rain.
Whats going on Alec, why are the
he said, Ive got something for you. Ive
been working on it for months, I think youll
Alec went into
the kitchen and wheeled the cake out into the
middle of the living room. I know weve
been having a rough time of it the last while so
I thought Id surprise you with this. I had
to order the ingredients from all over the world,
the whiskey is a rare 50 year old single malt and
the gold leaf is from an artisan in Venice. It
took all my savings but I did it for you.
hell are you talking about said Diane.
What is this Alec? Youve not worked
in eleven years
Ive been out all day
washing carrots in that shitehole of a factory
for minimum wage
been home doing this? You told me you were
staying home all day doing an online course in
computer programming so that you could get back
into work. Oh my god, what did you do with the
money my dad lent you for the course?.
it on this, for you. I couldnt tell him it
was for a faberge egg cake, or the surprise might
have been ruined, said Alec.
Diane began to
sob. She spoke with fury through her tears,
they were going to use that money to go on
a cruise for their anniversary, but they thought
they were helping us get a better life
wasted 15 years of my life on you
collapsed to the floor, I cant even
afford tampons and youve spent £7,000 on a
the cake Diane, dont worry, one day we will
be rich, youll be able to buy the same
tampons as the Queen, said Alec as he
managed to spoon a little piece of the cake into
her mouth between sobs.
silent for a moment then spoke, Its
light touch of single malt whiskey
biscuit base melts in my mouth with the champagne
jelly. She picked herself up and walked
over to the cake, crying, and grabbed a spoon on
any wine?, Diane asked.
and brought out a bottle of Château dYquem
desert wine. He poured a glass for Diane and
himself, and told her everything would be alright
from then on. They sat up eating and drinking
into the early hours of the morning.
later Alec was brainwashed by a cult leader who
claimed to be a messenger from the planet Teebor,
which he said was just to the left of Orions
left shoulder. Unfortunately, Alec drank a Dr
Pepper laced with cyanide believing it would
release his cosmic energy and enable him to
travel to Teebor at the speed of light.
to rebuild some semblance of a normal life in the
months following Alecs fatal drink of Dr
Pepper, and went on to become a successful food
critic for the Guardian newspaper.