The Short Humour Site









Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

Lyons family complications
by Jilliana Ranicar-Breese

After uncle Claude had said I was no longer welcome in his home because I had spoken Italian to Anna. Also because I had treated her like a servant he said. Well I remember Gino had the flu and Anna did a lot of running about taking care of him. Obviously Claude felt left out not speaking Italian but the main reason, my mother discovered, was that I introduced Anna to a friend as Anna and not Mrs Lyons! Well she was not yet Mrs Lyons. Divorce had not yet come in.

With nowhere to stay I moved in with my cousin Ruth and her husband Lionel Hodes from South Africa in Child’s Hill off the Finchley Road. I had just got a temporary job at the Ideal Home Exhibition at Earls Court.

I never saw uncle Claude again but two synchronistic things happened. It was near to Xmas and I was visiting a friend in West End Lane. She wasn’t ready and so I had to wait in the hall on a telephone seat. Casually, for no reason, I looked at the envelope lying on the seat cum table. It was obviously a Xmas card addressed to Claude Lyons that had gone to the wrong address. I thought about putting a message on the back of the envelope but thought better of it. I lost my chance of a possible reconciliation.

The second time I was in the local wine shop on the Finchley Road just by Westend Lane where I lived. I was waiting for the manager to come to serve me but he was busy with a customer at the back of the shop. He was writing the delivery list for the wine ordered. Then he left to speak to the client who was behind me.

For no reason I glanced at the delivery sheet and gasped. It was made out to Claude Lyons from William Lyons! I turned to look at the client and saw that it was an embarrassed William, my first cousin who never invited me once to his home despite being one block away from my flat. That’s family for you!

Written 6/1/25 in Nightingale.