The Short Humour Site









Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

Mortality
by Doug Hawley

I have the body of a twenty year old –
            I keep it in the refrigerator for midnight snacks.
I was worried when I was told that I was in room 205 at the hospital –
            But when I checked in the room, I found out that it was someone else.
I don’t want to die with my boots on –
            Because I don’t wear boots to bed.
I check the obituaries before I get out of bed –
            If I am in them there is no reason to get out of bed.
I heard someone about my size and age had died on a bicycle –
             I was worried until I remembered that I didn’t have a bike.
I want to die in my sleep like Uncle Fred –
            Unlike the people in the house he burned down after blocking the doors.
I don’t want to die in the saddle –
            So I avoid horses and tack shops.