Trials and
Tribulations of the Celtic Tiger Cubs
by Lily Murphy
The recession
here in Ireland has hit old college buddies of
mine. One day I met up with one who lamented that
before the economic crash he used to wear a clean
pair of socks every day. Now he has to get two
days wear out of one pair. Times are tough I
understand, but I dared not enquire his
underpants situation!
That is just
one sad tale to come out of the recession and
even though we are some years into it, we are not
inclined to crawl out of it. I think we secretly
adore the misery all around us. Now let me
elaborate more on that thought.
We Irish are a
strange bunch who love to wallow in woe. We
prefer to loose battles rather then win them. We
praise the dead instead of the living. We love a
sad ballad and delight in desolation. Sure look
at an Irish wedding, it occurs on only one day
while an Irish funeral is a three day event!
The recession
is a great excuse to be more forlorn than what we
previously were. It serves as a great source of
sombre stories and here is another tale to tell
you.
I came across
another old college buddie who was looking drab.
‘I’ve
just been to the doctor,’ she informed me.
‘He asked
me had I quit drinking and I told him that I had
to because of the recession and he laughed at me.
He then told me I had developed Methyphobia, a
phobia developed since the price of booze went up!’
I felt sorry
for my old buddie who once had a great lip for
the drink.
Let me tell
you another tale that an old buddie recalled to
me.
‘A
burglar came into the house the other night’
he informed me. ‘He came in the front door,
through the living room, right out the back door
and left with less than what he actually came in
with!’
So it is a
wretched state of affairs when a man can’t
wear clean socks everyday. When a heavy drinker
turns into a dry pioneer due to the price of
alcohol and when a burglar can’t even rob a
house without getting robbed himself!
Yes, we are in
a miserable state of affairs indeed, but don’t
we just love it!
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