Regular
Unsupervised Beatings At School Could Prevent
ADHD In Britain's Youngsters, Claim Over-60s
by Danny Soz
People in the
UK aged 60 or over are wholly convinced that
severe beatings at school would almost certainly
go a long way to eradicating the recent epidemic
of kids who are being diagnosed with Attention
Deficit Hyperactive Disorder.
A staggering
99 percent of those questioned who were born in
the mid-50s or earlier, when beatings at school
were commonplace, were firmly convinced that an
unsupervised, wild thrashing from a burly male
teacher in a stock cupboard using a cane or a
large slipper would wholly eradicate ADHD
overnight.
When presented
with the findings, the Department of Education
gave a guarded response last night:
"Listen,
we'd like nothing better than to lift the ban on
corporal punishment so that some of these little
shits with so called behavioural issues could
have their ADHD eradicated by means of a really
good, unsupervised pounding, but we're shit-scared
of being sued by the parents.
"Maybe,
if they'd been subjected to the odd sadistic
larruping in a cupboard themselves back in the
day they wouldn't be so bloody litigious and soft"
In other
related news, the former leader of the United
Kingdom Independence Party, Nigel Farage, has
called for all non-white pupils at Britain's
secondary schools to be forced to recite the
entire works of William Shakespeare backwards in
Latin or face being thrown to the school lion.
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