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Shocked And Blocked
by Stephen Philip Druce

People say they can always remember where they were and what they were doing the day president Kennedy was killed.

I got talking to an old guy in my local bar, and he recalled his personal account of that tragic day. He described vividly, lucidly and eloquently the moment he first heard the shocking news that reverberated across the globe in 1963 - depicting articulately the moment he learnt that the world's most eminant statesman had been murdered -

"I'll never forget that day" said old Stan, "I was at home trying to unblock the toilet with a golf club and suddenly my wife shouted - "president Kennedy has been shot dead!".

"Who's president kenbaby?, and who's blocked the toilet?" I said.

"I don't know who president kenpoppy is, and I don't know who blocked the toilet" she said.

"Why are you telling me about this president kendaddy?, and why did somebody block the toilet?" I said.

"It's on telly - president kentitty has been shot dead, and I don't know why somebody blocked the toilet" she said.

"How do they know this president kenzippy is dead?, and how did somebody block the toilet?" I said.

"I don't know how they know that president kenslappy is dead, and I don't know how somebody blocked the toilet" she said.

"When was this president kenspammy shot? and when did the toilet block?" I said.

"I don't know when president kensnoopy was shot, and I don't know when the toilet blocked" she said.

"What type of gun killed president kenpuffy?, and what blocked the toilet?" I said.

"I don't know what type of gun killed president kenstumpy, and I don't know what blocked the toilet" she said.

"Who killed this president kencakey?, find out will you?" I said, still trying to unblock the toilet.

My wife replied - "look, you can't expect me to flush out the cul-shit - sorry Imean the culprit".