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A Man of a Few More Words - by Swan Morrison

Employment Tasks Operative Required

We are looking for an enthusiastic, committed, self-motivated and highly skilled individual to undertake employment-related duties in the corporate purpose oriented activity affairs section of our organisation. This is an excellent opportunity to become part of a progressive, expanding, stimulating and versatile section of our workforce in a challenging and rewarding environment.

Reporting to the appropriate senior tier of management, you will have a proven track record of first rate organisational and communication skills and be willing to undertake a variety of work related responsibilities. Your experience and hands-on approach will be required across the whole range of potential undertakings within your specific job profile.

A key aspect of your activity will be to act as an innovative resource in order to generate optimum output in relation to the positive promotion of target based initiatives.

You should be appropriately qualified, flexible and reliable with significant relevant experience in forward thinking, quality assessed, employer oriented strategy implementation. You will also have a highly developed awareness of employment activity best practice together with an aptitude for dynamic colleague interaction.

The attractive remuneration package will be consistent with qualifications and experience and include the negotiable perks and bonuses typically associated with a post of this nature.

The requirement for the development of this role has arisen from the ongoing utilisation of advertising consultants in the area of staff recruitment in general - and in the discipline of advertisement composition in particular. They have necessarily introduced a complication and generalisation of language into advertisement phraseology so as to engage maximum interest amongst potential employees. They have argued that this has been required to engender sufficient curiosity therefrom to enhance tentative initial contacts from potentially suitable applicants. The sentences thus constructed, however, have evolved to become virtually incomprehensible and essentially meaningless and have, as a result, inevitably introduced a substantial degree of obscurantism.

The above situation has pertained during a significant time period such that those recruiting and inducting new employees have themselves been brought into the company by such means. All employees are thus now consistently demonstrating limitations in their fundamental awareness of the precise detail of the occupational tasks inherent in conducting the underlying business of the organisation.

We believe our business to be fully equipped with the latest technology and equipment to decisively drive forward our corporate plans and objectives. The current corporate agenda is to rediscover these plans and objectives, and, indeed, the location of said technology and equipment. Thereafter we hope to gain insight into the applications for which this might be harnessed.

The selection process will require you to deliver a presentation on your provisional analysis of organisational function and purpose.

A CV should be personally delivered to the corporate business premises. You should then ring the organisational senior management team mobile phone on 04571 89765832 in order to inform them of the location of this building.