So onto the market our starter home went,
And buyers arrived to look round.
But none made an offer – so what could be wrong?
A way to sell had to be found.

A friend said the smell of some fresh baking bread
Would encourage the viewers to stay.
So we sprayed with a can of ‘fresh baking bread’ scent,
But the offers did not come our way.

A neighbour suggested the house was too full:
Our things were preventing a move.
So in storage we placed all possessions we owned,
Yet our luck didn’t start to improve.

We next decorated both inside and out.
In new carpets we chose to invest.
We had a new kitchen and bathroom installed,
But did not spark the hoped interest.

My wife was appalled at now having to sleep
With each man when we thought we might sell.
I agreed that today’s housing market was tough
As I serviced the gay ones as well.

We finally sold at a resonable price
Once the buyer had raised a large mortgage.
I don’t think he actually wanted the house,
But some of his kin we held hostage.

Despite that, he drove a hard bargain.
We dropped by ten thousand or more.
He agreed on a compromise price, and we killed
Just one aunt and his brother-in-law.

So take note, you young couples who’re selling.
Today’s housing market is tough.
A couple of cans of ‘fresh baking bread’ scent
May simply not be enough.