There has been much discussion in the
British press about devolution. But what is it, and what are its
consequences for ordinary people?
Devolution is often associated with
political decentralisation, although, of course, this is not its
fundamental objective. The movement arose from dissatisfaction
with the uncontrolled pace of change in modern society and its
associated stresses. When linked with civil rights, the challenge
of devolution was finally formulated into the question: Why
do we have to keep evolving?. The devolution, or anti-evolution,
movement was thus born.
Its development can be traced in three
spheres: cultural, intellectual, and physical. The Retro
movement is a good example of the first, with the re-emergence
of designs from the nineteen-sixties or even earlier.
Anamatronics and embalming techniques have allowed continued
concerts by long dead musicians such as the Beatles, the Stones,
the Who, Genesis, Slade and the like. Many people still fail to
realise that all members of such bands had died of drink and drug
overdoses by the end of the nineteen-seventies. This is with the
exception of Cliff Richard, of course, who was struck by
lightning in nineteen-eighty-one, God having finally had enough.
Great strides in cultural devolution have
also been made by soccer supporters clubs. They have firmly
established a level of tribalism estimated to be commensurate
with that at the time of Stonehenge. Some clubs are even
beginning to experiment with hunter-gathering.
Fundamentalist and evangelical churches
have led intellectual devolution. Leaders and followers alike
have tenaciously resisted the theological and philosophical
advances of the past few hundred years to maintain their
intellectual presence firmly in the twelfth century. In their
communities, creationism has emphatically defeated Darwinian
evolution and the heresy that the Earth revolves around the Sun
is being decisively challenged to the delight of the Pope.
The major breakthrough in physical
devolution came with the ability of scientists to alter the
genetic material of living individuals to transform them into
earlier hominids. Many people volunteered for conversion to Homo
Errectus, although large numbers of the gay community withdrew
when their misunderstanding was explained.
Early hominid lifestyles have become very
fashionable, of course, even amongst those who prefer not to
commit to genetic modification. These people are, however, looked
down upon by true genetic converts - mainly because the latter
live higher in the trees.
Middle class assumption of hominid
lifestyles has led to a degree of competition. Bigger trees are
prized, and additional branches are frequently added after Sunday
morning raids on garden centres.
Scottish devolution continues to cause
conflict due to the desire of the Scots to replace the English
monarch with their own choice. Assaults are reported daily on
contractors reconstructing the defences of Hadrians wall.
These attacks being perpetrated by bearded Scots in kilts waving
bagpipes and cudgels, and screaming Thiss fer
The ultimate aim of the devolution
movement, however, is for all to dissociate into amino acids in a
primeval soup - free of consciousness and totally free of stress.