The phone rings and Sarah
Hello, this is Sarah
from the Samaritans. How can I help you?
Ive just had
some rather bad news.
Would you like to
talk about it?
Yes. Ive just
had the result of my intelligence test.
And you found that
Yes. My IQ came out
I dont know
much about these things, but thats
exceptionally high, isnt it?
It certainly is. It
puts me in the top thousandth of the population.
Many people would be
delighted with that. What about it troubles you?
Well, I cant
understand most of the control functions on my TV
or video or DVD player. I find the wash routines
on the washing machine bewildering. The questions
on my tax returns, and most other official forms,
look like theyve been written in some
I have those problems
Yes, but I imagine
you dont have an IQ of 180...er...I mean
that statistically...nothing personal.
No offence taken.
Youre probably right. I didnt do that
well at school. But I still dont really
understand whats so upsetting for you.
Well, if Im not
clever enough to cope with modern living,
virtually nobody else can be either. The fate of
this planet must be mostly in the hands of people
who are less able than me, so the situation must
be hopeless. Were all doomed!!
I see. But its
not just about being clever, you know.
No. Its about
being nice too. The fate of the planet probably
has more to do with people caring about each
other than about being clever.
youve lost me again.
Im a complete
bastard. I dont give a damn about anyone
but myself. I never contact my grey-haired old
mother. I hate animals and children.
Well, you probably
cant change how clever you are, but you can
make an effort to be nicer.
Take some interest in
other people. Visit your mum. Send some money to
a charity for animals or children.
Will that make me
I dont know.
Try it. If you make an effort to behave in that
way, then, gradually, that might be the sort of
person you become.
I thought you said
you werent clever?
different sorts of clever.
Do you think I ought
to stop bullying the people who work for me?
It might help the
growth of the new you.
And stop spreading
lies to discredit those who disagree with me?
I think so.
And stop claiming to
passionately believe any damn thing which focus
groups indicate will impress the electorate, just
to gain votes?
I thought I
recognised your voice.
Oh God....Are you
going to sell this to the papers?
No. The Samaritans
are totally confidential.
Are you really this
decent and ethical?
I try to be.
Are there others like
Thank you, Sarah. The
polls show that we politicians are out of touch
with the people. Now I think I understand why.