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A Man of Few Words - by Swan Morrison

Terrology

Astrologers were delighted by the project for the systematic study of astrological predictions. The method was to construct natal charts for individuals at the time of their births, then to predict two key themes in their lives and their likely occupation. These were then checked against the actual experiences of these people over many years.

Many results were seen as a total vindication for the art of Astrology. The desert Bedouin of the mid-Sahara were such an example. Predictions indicated that major life themes would be sand and camels, and occupations would tend towards being desert camel herders. The accuracy of these predictions was astounding. The same was true for the Inuit peoples deep within the Arctic Circle. For many of these people the themes from the natal charts were identified as ice and darkness. This, again, was stunningly accurate together with predictions of occupations related to freezing their bums off while fishing through holes in ice.

It therefore came as a surprise and disappointment that predictions for people in western city environments were much less accurate. There was clearly some factor in London, Paris and New York that was masking the influence of the stars.

The manner in which the stars exert their influence is uncertain but has been likened to the effect of gravity. It was therefore postulated that too many objects near to a child at birth might counteract the effect of distant constellations. Results from tribes deep in the Amazonian rain forest, however, seemed to challenge this. Despite being constantly surrounded by forest, predicted themes of trees and hunter-gathering were as accurate as the desert and arctic predictions. This was also reflected in prediction of occupations related to making souvenirs for the tourist market while logging companies decimated the rain forest. The phenomenon affecting cities must have been something different.

The current prevailing hypothesis is that it is the influence of man-made objects within 400 meters of a child at birth that is the critical factor, and this is the theory which has given rise to the art of ‘Terrology’. Fortunately the availability of top-secret military satellite photographs on the Internet has meant that an aerial view of the area surrounding any child at birth can be easily obtained.

I am currently researching this subject and have begun with my own terrological natal chart. I have an alignment of two busses in the bus depot of my first quadrant. My second quadrant contains a fire appliance platform rising and, critically, I have burglary occurring in two houses of my forth quadrant. These influences together indicate that I should possess a credulous medieval world view that has been entirely uninfluenced by the scientific and philosophical advances of the last three hundred years. This is clearly untrue, so I must now discover what other factors in my chart could have lead to the development of an intuitive appreciation and understanding of arcane ancient wisdom.