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A Man of Yet a Few More Words - by Swan Morrison

The Greenland Object*

Eric adjusted the Velcro fasteners that secured the head of his polar bear costume to the white furry body of the suit.

‘It’s uncanny,’ said Jennifer, stepping back to admire the ensemble. ‘You’re only standing six feet away from me, but with the expanse of the Greenland landscape behind you, I would swear that you were a real bear.’


When Eric had joined the Google Street View Team, he had visualised many relaxed and happy hours driving along the highways and byways of England while filming the street shots for Google Earth. Indeed, this is exactly what had happened for the first six months of his employment.

He had undertaken his work conscientiously, and shortly after his sixth month in post he was delighted to be told that he had been declared Google’s best UK Street View driver. When he had subsequently been summoned to Google’s UK headquarters in London, therefore, he had anticipated no more than to receive his award certificate.

There was a lunch and a presentation, as he had expected. When this was over, however, Jennifer Tracker, Google’s Head of Mapping, had asked to have a private word with him.

She had led him to her private office. ‘Please sit down, Eric,’ she had said. ‘I’d like you to look at a photograph.’

Eric had sat down in a plush, leather armchair. Jennifer had opened a drawer in her desk, removed a photograph and handed it to Eric:

‘What’s this?’

‘We don’t know. It’s from Google Earth. It’s in the middle of Greenland, centered at 70 degrees 34 minutes north and 40 degrees west.’

‘Someone dumped a wardrobe.’

‘It’s fifty miles long.’

There had been a pause while Eric had taken-in the oddness of the image. ‘Why are you showing this to me?’

‘We need a Street View. You’re our best man. I want you to come with me to Greenland and check it out.’

‘Won’t the military have looked into it?’

‘They claim it’s an anomaly due to the way that many satellite images are overlapped to make a continuous picture. They say there’s nothing there.’

‘Perhaps they’re right.’

‘We’ve had our imaging experts look at it. It’s dead straight, orange and yellow in colour and casts shadows. It’s no anomaly.’

‘I’m surprised it hasn’t caused a stir on the Internet.’

‘It did for a short period, but then the object vanished on subsequent photographs we received. You see, Google Earth gets its photographs from satellites, many of which are government controlled. In that respect, I think this shot is very interesting.’ Jennifer had handed Eric another photograph of Greenland. This view was mostly covered in white and had no trace of the object.

‘Why is this interesting?’ Eric had asked, looking at the featureless topography.

‘This summer saw the biggest reduction in the Greenland ice sheet on record. An estimated ninety-seven percent of the surface had thawed by July 2012. Despite that, the pictures they now send us for publication, in August, still continue to look like the top of a Christmas cake.’


Two weeks later, in Greenland, Eric dropped to all fours next to the snow-tractor and Jennifer strapped an unobtrusive Street View camera to the back of his polar bear costume.

‘The start of the structure is about eight hundred yards beyond the crest of this hill,’ she said, pointing to the nearby rise. ‘No one will suspect a polar bear. Good luck.’

Eric lumbered over the rocks and over the remaining traces of snow towards the imposing metallic face of the object. The Google animatronic, power-assisted suit made light work of his movements. Huge doors, like those of aircraft hangers, were open. Inside, many strange vehicles that looked like spacecraft were being worked upon by grey, seemingly humanoid creatures with large heads and spindly limbs.

Some of the creatures glanced at Eric, but he kept at a discrete distance so the bear was not seen as a threat and did not encourage too great an interest.

The building stretched into the distance further than his eyes could see, and as he walked along he soon came upon a section around which there were no signs of life. He spoke into his radio headset: ‘I'm going for an Interior View.’

Eric approached a small door. He pushed it with his nose. It opened and he went inside. Eric assumed that the security was so poor because no intruders were expected at such a remote location. He removed his bear suit so that he could move more easily indoors, and concealed it in an alcove. He took the camera and, filming as he went, he followed the corridor in front of him towards a bright light.

As he approached the opening through which the light came, he could hear a voice. He soon found himself looking down upon a vast, underground auditorium. The space contained thousands of what appeared to be people, together with many other strange, assorted creatures. They were listening intently to a large, reptilian-looking speaker, addressing them from a lectern on a high stage.

Fortunately the creature spoke in English with a very clear, upper class accent. The creature also spoke with a female voice that seemed to Eric somehow familiar: ‘And so, fellow Aliens,’ she continued, ‘it is becoming increasingly difficult to keep the truth from the simple homo sapiens. Some of their brighter and more insightful members, like David Icke, recognised many years ago that our secret group of shape-shifting reptilian humanoids, the Babylonian Brotherhood, controls humanity. He even identified key figures such as George W. Bush, Kris Kristofferson and Boxcar Willie. Mr Icke also identified my family and I, despite my cover identity as Queen of England. As you well know, my husband was subsequently forced to have Princess Diana killed in order to protect our secret.

'Other homo sapiens have deduced the existence of further alien species - most notably the Greys, after the crash of one of their spaceships at Roswell. Many have reported their abductions by Greys and the examinations and experimentation performed upon them. Recently, the homo sapiens got very close to the mark with their accusation that Barack Obama was not an American - although they mistakenly took his birthplace to be Kenya, when it was, in fact, the planet Gallifrey in the Andromeda galaxy.

‘Some of the homo sapiens know about our assassination of John F. Kennedy; the fake moon landings; the Philadelphia experiment; the Illuminati, the Bilderberg Group and other New World Order cabals. They realise that Elvis Presley, Tupac and Osama bin Laden are still alive but that Paul McCartney died in 1966. They know that Shakespeare never wrote any of the plays attributed to him. They understand that we have genetically created many diseases to control the homo sapien population and that we deploy these using chemtrails. They also correctly suspect that we contrive wars and terrorist attacks for this and a variety of other purposes. Indeed these primitive life forms are increasingly coming to see that most events in the world around them derive from our conspiracies.

‘It is as a result of this that most of you must, today, leave this planet so that we do not destroy our evolutionary experiment by providing more evidence that would allow all homo sapiens to know these facts with certainty. Even our subliminal brainwashing via advertising could not now prevent that. Hopefully there will still be time to complete the experiment before collision with the planet Nibiru destroys the Earth.'

She paused to turn the page of the written address she was reading. ‘Finally,' she continued, 'I would like to welcome the terrestrial species who have wished to leave Earth and join us on our journeys, such as the Yeti and the Bigfoot - together with their pet chupacabras. Welcome also to Lord Lucan and his racehorse, Shergar.

‘Naturally, some of us will remain for the moment so as not to arouse further suspicion by the sudden disappearance of world figures. For the remainder, the Greys have prepared your spacecraft, so please now return to your own planets and dimensions.

‘Farewell and good luck to you all.’

As the auditorium began to empty, Eric realised that he too should quickly leave. He ran back down the corridor to the entrance, scrambled into his polar bear outfit and bounded across the rocks to where Jennifer had concealed the snow-tractor.

Jennifer had seen and heard everything that Eric had encountered via the video-radio link but, before they had time to talk, the ground darkened with the shadows of hundreds of flying saucers rising into the sky. Jennifer and Eric scrambled to the crest of the hill and watched the exodus, speechless, until nothing remained but the massive orange and yellow structure. The absence of snow revealed that both of its horizontal dimensions dissapeared into the distance further than their eyes could see.

Suddenly an array of narrow, blue beams shone like lasers from the sky, striking every part of the structure. It became surrounded by an iridescent green aura. Then, in a moment, it vanished as if it had never been.

‘We’ve got the photographs,’ said Eric.

‘We’ll put them on Google Earth,’ replied Jennifer, ‘but, with all the solid evidence gone, it’s going to have no effect. A few conspiracy theorists and New Age weirdoes will write on blogs and forums,’ she sadly concluded, ‘but, for everyone else, it will be as if all those revelations are complete fantasy.’


*For those with a conspiratorial bent of mind, all the conspiracies mentioned above have been postulated. Just put ‘The Greenland Object’ , or any of the others, into Google to read more.
The photograph is on the Internet, and claimed to be a genuine screenshot from Google Earth. The object is no longer visible on Google Earth. The August 2012 view of Greenland really did look like the top of a Christmas cake - despite an estimated ninety-seven percent of the surface having actually thawed… Who really knows what is fact and what is fiction?