Robert Smith turned the key
in his front door. It had been a long day at work,
but he had much to do this evening. His new novel
was nearing completion, and his publisher had
rung him twice during the day, anxious to read
the completed work.
As he entered the hallway
he met his wife, standing with arms folded and
Whats up, Jenny?
I used your laptop,
today, she replied curtly.
I know about you and
Elena, Jenny stated coolly.
Thats fine too,
said Robert, but keep it to yourself. I
dont want other people to know just yet.
Im sure you
dont. You certainly didnt let me
know about the affair.
Robert looked puzzled.
The affair with Elena.
Does it matter?
How can you be so
cool about it? Jenny screamed.
Im your wife. Ive every right
Elena is only a
character in my novel, said a confused
But you kept having
sex with her.
Robert defended himself. The novel just
happens to be written in the first person.
Its fiction, for heavens sake.
Its not as if its a biography. I mean,
its set in the year 2098 in the Andromeda
Which I suppose is
your excuse for your even more depraved behaviour.
No wonder Elena left you for that space pilot
from Epsilon Vega.
What more depraved
Jenny picked up a book from
the hall table and threw it at Robert.
Nioula from Alpha Sirius! she
What about her?
You kept having sex
with her too, and shes not even human for
Gods sake. Have you got no morals?
Look, Jenny, I think
youre getting this out of perspective. The
protagonist in that book, Jet Spacewalker,
Jenny ignored Roberts
feeble excuse. And where am I in all this?
Youre not in
I mean Jets not married.
So you pretend I
dont exist. Elena and Nioula didnt
even know about me.
That evening when Robert
sat down at his word processor, he thought about
Jennys reaction. It was true that he was
not Jet Spacewalker, Intergalactic Commando, but
when he wrote in the first person, he did find
that he related more closely to the character
than when he wrote from other points of view.
There was certainly some part of him in such
characters. Perhaps he should write Jenny into
He returned to the part of
the novel that developed Jets backstory and
added a new paragraph:
One of the reasons Jet
had joined the Intergalactic Commandos was to try
to forget about his ex-wife, Jenny. He had no
doubt that she was the most beautiful and
intelligent woman in the Universe and had been
devastated when she had left him for the richest,
handsomest and most virile man in the Alpha
He called Jenny to the
computer. Will that do? Robert asked,
pointing to the new text.
OK, said Jenny,
Ill let you off. She left
Roberts office and returned to the lounge.
Robert quickly completed
the new biography:
Many people thought she
deserved it, however, when she was subsequently
trampled to death by a herd of Veralian Metabison
on Beta Centauri.