Epson Printer
Message
Epson Printer Message:
Your Light Cyan cartridge should be replaced.
OK, I’ll do that.
… … Done.
Epson Printer Message:
You appear to not be using a genuine Epson
cartridge.
Well, of course I’m
not. Even if I’d won the lottery and could
afford a villa in Beverly Hills, a yacht in
Monaco, a Lamborghini Veneno and a box of genuine
Epson cartridges, why would I buy those
cartridges when equally good ones are available
on Amazon for a fraction of the cost?
Epson Printer Message:
Epson cartridges have been specially formulated
to give the best performance in your printer. Are
you sure that you wouldn’t like to bin the
better value ones you’ve already purchased
from Amazon and take out a mortgage on a pack of
genuine Epson cartridges? Financing can be
arranged on very reasonable terms.
No thanks. I’ve been
using replacements for years, and I’ve never
found anything wrong with them.
Epson Printer Message:
Non-genuine cartridges may lead to a nuclear
explosion that could obliterate all life on Earth
and invalidate the warranty on your printer.
Really?
Epson Printer Message:
No, we made that bit up, but what else can we do
to get bastards like you to buy our cartridges?
Price them sanely. If other
companies on Amazon can produce great cartridges
at really cheap prices, why can’t you do the
same and base your profits on a greater volume
sold at a lower cost per unit. For God’s
sake, you could claim in your advertising that
you’re the honest and fair cartridge
provider. You could even make replacement Canon
and HP cartridges too and just leave those
companies with a reputation as cynical profiteers.
Epson Printer Message:
We’re not breaking ranks with the likes of
Canon and HP – Kodak started to
sell ink at fair prices and they went bust.
That was an innovative and
successful marketing idea. They didn't go
bankrupt because of it, but because they didn’t
come up with enough other innovations. Anyway, it’s
up to you what you do. I’ll just keep buying
low cost cartridges from Amazon – just as I
did when I owned Canon and HP printers.
Epson Printer Message:
We don’t suppose it would influence you if
we mentioned the old, grey haired mothers of our
executives who need the money to support and
comfort them in the twilight days of their lives.
No.
Epson Printer Message:
In that case, how the hell do you expect our
executives to pay for their villas in Beverly
Hills, yachts in Monaco, and Lamborghini Venenos?
Not my problem.
Epson Printer Message:
Well, fuck you then. We’ll just keep putting
these annoying, alarmist and patronising messages
on your screen every time you change a cartridge.
I expected no less. I don’t
care though; I’m in it for the long haul.
And just think of the fortune I’m saving
– I could put the money towards that villa
in Beverly Hills. I’ve blocked Epson updates,
by the way, so you can’t ‘do an HP’
and prevent my printer from using replacement
cartridges.
Epson Printer Message:
You devious son of a bitch! Incidentally, your
Magenta cartridge should be replaced.
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