Popularity
Rating Of Boris Johnson Plummets In Wake Of EU
Referendum Campaign
Recent polls have confirmed
that the popularity of Boris Johnson amongst the
British public has dramatically declined since 22nd
February 2016.
‘I’d never
thought too hard about it,’ said John Smith,
a typical UK resident, ‘but, in the past, me
misses and me always thought Boris might be a
good person to be Prime Minister or Archbishop of
Canterbury or King or something like that.’
When asked why he had held
that view, Mr Smith went on to explain that he
had seen Mr Johnson on the BBC TV programme Have
I Got News For You and had thought he seemed
good fun. ‘Me misses and me lives in the
sticks,’ Mr Smith explained further, ‘but
we visits London from time to time. We think
London’s great: there’s loads to do,
lots of places to eat and, if you avoid the rush
hour, it’s got really good public transport.
We knew that Boris was mayor so we sort of
associated him with the fun we had when we went
up to town. When he announced his plan to
concrete over the Thames estuary and build an
airport on it, we liked him even more. We don’t
live anywhere near London so weren’t
bothered by any problems the airport on Boris
Island might cause. The idea seemed like a bit of
a laugh though, and it would have been a great
place to visit on one of our trips.’
After Boris Johnson began
to support the Britex campaign, however, the
opinion of him held by Mr Smith and the majority
of the UK population changed drastically.
‘This change of
perspective does not appear to directly relate to
the position of Mr Johnson on Europe,’
explained a representative from the polling
agency YouGov. ‘Few people are particularly
bothered about the outcome of the referendum. It
was more because Mr Johnson had stridently stated
a political position on a subject they had heard
of.’
‘The new Boris made me
stop and think,’ confirmed Mavis Brown,
another typical UK resident. ‘Until that
point, his lack of dress sense, that dreadful
haircut and his stammering, bumbling, eccentric
manner had seemed rather endearing. When he
started to campaign like a proper politician,
however, I began to realise that his appearance
and manner aren’t what you want in a
statesman. Cameron may be as useless as all the
rest, but at least he looks the part.
Imagine Boris Johnson trying to negotiate with
Vladimir Putin while looking like he’s slept
under a hedge – and possibly while hanging
from a zip wire, grinning inanely and waving a
union jack too.’
‘Presentation is
extremely important for a public figure,’
explained Professor Sigmund Jung of the British
Association of Psychologists. ‘Eccentricity
is prized by the British as long as that
eccentricity has no direct impact on them.
Characteristics that are charming and endearing
in their local oddball become irritating and even
alarming when demonstrated by those in authority.
‘Research shows this
to be one of the main reasons why Jeremy Corbyn
is unelectable as Prime Minister,’ Professor
Jung continued. ‘No one’s bothered
about his plan to distribute open toed sandals
and sing Kumbaya as an alternative to a national
defence policy. Neither are people too concerned
about an attitude to workers, management and
welfare that became obsolete in the last century.
The key problem is his dress sense. He began his
leadership of the Labour Party with a sartorial
style that might just have suited the Islington
North branch of the Trainspotters Society. He
then smartened up to a standard that might have
got him into the CAMRA meeting next door. Prime
Minister, though, definitely not.
‘The only people who
could be expected to vote for Jeremy Corbyn would
be students and left wing political activists.
They’re so detached from everyday reality
that they’d vote for Paddington Bear as
Prime Minister to demonstrate their individuality
and, somewhat unclear, vision for a new world.
Even bullying of those Labour Party members who
disagree with them could never swing a vote.
‘Sadly,’
concluded Professor Jung, ‘the same problem
of presentation that plagues Jeremy Corbyn has
impacted on Mr Johnson now that he seems to be
taking something seriously. Whether he takes
Europe seriously or the prospect of becoming
Prime Minister is hard to say. The fact remains,
however, that behaviour which once appeared
eccentric and endearing is now seen as ridiculous
and possibly dangerous.’
It would appear, therefore,
that in the eyes of the British public Boris
Johnson has descended from the dizzy heights of British
Endearing Eccentric of the Year 2015 to
become one of the 650 joint winners of Tedious
MP of the Year 2016.
Is there anything he can do
to restore his former status?
‘I’m not sure,’
concluded John Smith, the typical UK resident who
first appeared in the second paragraph of this
article. ‘Maybe he should try hosting Have
I Got News For You again and shut up about
the EU.’
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