Short Humour
Site Accused Of Balanced, Factually Accurate
Reporting
The government and media
have angrily accused the Short Humour Site
of publishing well researched, balanced and
factually accurate articles.
‘This is a total
disgrace,’ passionately screamed a
representative of the National Union of
Journalists. ‘The Short Humour Site
is respected for its spoof news stories. We
expect fake news from its writers. Some
of what it’s publishing now is, well, just
plain wrong. Hell,’ he continued, ‘those
of us in the mainstream media don’t even
have a word for the sort of writing that
correctly and dispassionately reflects reality.’
National government has
also voiced concerns. ‘How are people going
to know what to believe?’ shouted a furious
government representative. ‘People turn to The
Short Humour Site, as with the mainstream
media, for a biased take on world events that may
have only tentative connections to actual facts
– if any at all. Recent Short Humour
Site articles, however, have examined the
subtle nuances of real world situations in a
thoughtful and responsible way. The present
government and all properly thinking, God fearing,
people are rightly disgusted by this.’
Recent Short Humour
Site headlines that have attracted criticism
include: Complex, Multi-Faceted Situation
Resolved By Reasoned Compromises and Most
Ordinary People Want To Make The World A Better
Place.
The latter headline, and
the associated article, also drew impassioned
criticism because of its positive, optimistic and
life-affirming tenor. ‘People don’t
want or need to read about how, despite the
problems in the world, there is real hope,’
yelled an incensed representative of the tabloid
press. ‘They need to constantly be reminded
of the fear they should experience in their every
waking moment about the imminent collapse of
society. They need to know about all the evil,
pernicious individuals and groups who are to
blame for hourly horrors and who should be the
rightful focus of their scorn and hatred. We take
pride,’ he added, ‘in the increasing
levels of depression and other mental health
issues in society as our reporting helps people
to fully appreciate the despair and hopelessness
which they ought to experience.’
Intelligence agencies have
challenged the legitimacy and motives of the Short
Humour Site writers who have been accurately
portraying positive news. ‘Although we
cannot reveal our sources,’ said a Security
Service spokesman, ‘we have incontrovertible
evidence that many of these stories have been
inspired by the Russians to undermine the fabric
of western society. Others have been traced to
the Chinese, Iranians, Israelis and all the other
nations listed in the Almanac of Terrorists,
Larcenists And Saboteurs – or the
Atlas as we call the book.’
Religious groups have come
out in support of the press, government and
security agencies in damning the stance of the
Short Humour Site. ‘Factual correctness
is all very well,’ said a representative of
the major religious organisations, ‘but is
that the sort of truth we want? Religions have
known for centuries that real truth can
only be identified by the level of passion and
delusional fervour with which beliefs are held.
We are delighted that society’s institutions
are finally advancing towards our way of thinking.
Oxford English Dictionary
editors are currently seeking a word to describe
this new phenomenon of accuracy, honesty and
responsibility in reporting. ‘Post-post-truth
has been proposed,’ said an OED spokeswoman.
‘The risk, however, is that this would open
the linguistic door to post-post-post-truth and
post-post-post-post-truth. Then, who would know
what to believe?’
|
